Hernandez Family

Motherhood

2012-01-10T22:08:00.000-05:00

So...motherhood is awesome. I would tell anyone that motherhood is one of the greatest gifts that God gave me...But...man oh man it has been a challenging 3 months!!!! Getting out of the hospital we realized that Andrew is/was "tongue-tied" and we had to schedule to have his tongue clipped because of his inability to latch on and nurse well. Now, those of you that know me, will know that being able to successfully nurse Andrew was something I really wanted. With Maya...due to all of my complications and medications with my heart condition I was unable to with her and with Andrew I wanted to. But with his tongue so tight it was very hard for him...so we had his tongue clipped....yay, nursing could commence...yeah...no. My theory is that too much time had passed and he had gotten used to bottles/shields that he was unable to get latched on right. So I decided to switch him to formula at 1 month since meeting with a lactation consultant would be expensive and I would be going to work anyways and would stop then. So, he became a formula fed baby! I was ok with that. We had a steady month of company and visitors making the reality of parenting two children delayed...I had so much help, I napped when Andrew napped, I had my mom cooking dinners, My mom also helped me with cleaning and laundry...then she left. Yep, she left me to do it all by myself. My mom and dad both told me I could do it and that I was perfectly capable...so I decided to jump in full speed ahead. My mom left on Monday and that evening Andrew started looking like he was getting a cold (great, my 2 month old sick already...probably because I stopped breastfeeding) and then on Tuesday he had his 2 month check up and vaccines. She checked him out and he appeared to be ok so I went ahead with the vaccines. Now, Maya never had a problem tolerating vaccines so I didn't think Andrew would...wrong. He was extremely fussy and with fever that night. Fun. The next day he didn't seem himself still and I knew he was getting sick...by Thursday he had this horrible cough....sounded like an old man who smoked his whole life...it was bad and it freaked me out because he had trouble catching his breath. We went to the pediatrician who said that he was wheezing in his lungs and put him on breathing treatments (again, if you know me...this killed me because I have been down this road with Maya the last 3 years). The treatments did not help and he was not improving...Saturday I ran errands and when I arrived home JC and I were concerned at Andrew's inability to catch his breath. I called the pediatrician and described what was going on...she recommended that I take him to the ER. Awesome. The previous Saturday we had Maya in the ER due to an asthma flare up and being unable to get her to stop coughing...Anyways...after some tests...multiple breathing treatments it was determined that Andrew had RSV and bronchiolitis and due to his age and weight they were going to admit him to the children's hospital pediatric ICU. Fantastic...so I spent the next 2 days in the hospital with him. He did get better and as time passed continued to get better...thank you God for healing that little one. Andrew has always been just a little pickier than Maya, a little fussier than Maya and a little more particular. I have been learning (the hard way) that not all children are created equal and I might as well be a rookie and starting over with the lack of knowledge I have for making this little boy happy! Haha. I have had many days that I have cried because I can't seem to figure this thing out. Balancing Andrew with Maya has been hard. Thankfully, Maya has been amazing...she has not had any jealousy issues AT ALL. I was nervous about that but she has been amazing. She does need me and some time with me...and that has been hard especially since Andrew is so demanding. I think we have found that a combination of his reflux medication with gas drops/gripe water is proving to be very effective. He has always had tummy issues...his spitting up is still out of control! Haha. Andrew still gets me up around 2 am for a feeding...thankfully he has always gone straight back to sleep after nighttime feedings...but if this keeps up I might be more likely to start cereal much earlier than I did with Maya...but 4 months is still a whole month away and so much could happen! :) Maya has been doing awesome and is so ready to start school. She will start VPK in August and in the meantime I am working with her on preschool skills, worksheets, etc at home...I will never be able to afford the amount of worksheets and things this child wants to do. I love it but I can't keep up with her! She is so smart, and so social. I love hearing the things that come out of her mouth. She is such a sponge and I love watching her learn. She has a folder that she puts her completed work in...the school nerd that I am got excited to watch her organize her folder all on her own without any prompting! :) During my maternity time I started in attempts to negotiate with my job a part time position or a change in hours for the full time position...I was working 3 evenings until 8:00 pm. This just wasn't going to be ok with the two kids and with Andrew being so little. Originally they said yeah and then they said no and basically made it impossible for me to return. Soo..I turned in my letter of resignation. I have been at peace with my decision. Adjusting to losing my salary and all of our "play" money has been just that...an adjustment but it's totally worth it to be with the kiddos. I do have a job interview on the 19th for a position using my license but only day time regular office hours...but it would just have to be too good to be true for me to consider it. Until then, I am relying on God to help us make wise choices with our money and we will be alright! :)JC continues trucking at UPS delivering packages. He just changes to a route here near our house...it's nice the other day he met me at Babies R Us (it's on his route) and helped me buy diapers and load the car...plus he got to see the kids in the middle of the day. He is trying to get to a better route...preferably inside like a mall. I have high hopes that being a mom of 2 is going to settle in for me sooner or later and until then it will continue to be a little chaotic. But that's ok! :)2011 was such a crazy and emotional year for us...we are ready to embrace 2012 for all of the goodness and happiness that it has to offer...

Andrew in his PICU bed.

Love these two kids! <3

She brings me such joy!

The hubs and I ringing in the new year!

They really are in love with each other...it's incredible to watch!

Happy New Year!

3 Weeks Later...

2011-10-30T19:10:00.000-04:00

I have been trying to find time to blog about my birthday experience with Andrew but between out of town company, Maya and a newborn...it's been hard. I feel like all I do is feed, burp and change Andrew. :)On October 10 we left to go to the hospital around 1:00 pm for my 3:30 pm scheduled C Section. Upon arrival they admit me and start the pre-op process...a perinatologist that is a partner of the one that I saw because of Andrew's suspected small size and an OB from my practice (not one that is familiar with me) came to talk with me and JC. They basically informed us that due to me only being 37 weeks that they weren't going to approve my C Section. They said that they were going to reschedule me for 39 weeks and if I were to go into labor in advance then come in and they would do the C Section. I asked them if they had spoken to the other doctor's in my OB practice (any of the other that had spoken with my cardiologist and actually had a part in the decision making for me) or my cardiologist. They said no and really didn't have any intention to do so. Let's just say I was about to go crazy on the people. JC remained patient and explained to them that we weren't waiting for me to go into labor. The perinatologist also tried to tell me that the c section is not necessarily better for my condition. Now, when it comes to my heart problem I am going with my cardiologist. She's amazing and has been very thorough with my treatment and consulting with a hundred different doctor's to make sure that she was doing everything right. I called her office from my cell phone and she called me back and said she would take care of things. Well, after an hour or more of back and forth the doctor's so nicely agreed to do the C Section...whatever. I told them that I wanted the other doctor's from my practice to do the surgery...not the horrible man doctor that was at the hospital already. Two of the other doctor's came in to do it. I had two anestisiologists that were called in by my cardiologist just for my c section...and then my cardiologist was also there. They basically controlled all of my fluids and I was given my epidural very slow so I could be closely monitored. The first 5 minutes after the baby came out was the most critical in that situation due to the huge fluid shift that occurs when the baby is removed. 5 minutes passed...10 minutes passed...more time passed...they sent me to recovery...moved me to my room...IN MATERNITY (not the CCU or telemetry) and I waited for Andrew to come see me! The sense of relief that I had that the surgery went well was just immense...however, if you ask my cardiologist I wasn't to relaxed...I was super worried the majority of my hospital stay...not sure if I was waiting for something to happen or what, but I was a little tense. She discharged me after 3 days and didn't even super medicate me headed home. Same meds I was taking during pregnancy! God really looked out for me and provided me an amazing cardiologist that really took care of me and was invested in my well being. Andrew is amazing...and has really changed our lives. Maya is an awesome big sister...and has really been adjusting well to the changes in the house and having to share her mommy and daddy...there really hasn't been any jealousy issues or problems...yet. I am hoping that being almost 4 is what is helping the adjustment. My mom and dad have been here to help and it has been a huge help! It's really helped with Maya's adjustment and allowing me to slowly ease into being a mom to 2 children...Just gotta find the time balance and relinquish some of my OCDness regarding my house and cleaning! Haha. I am starting to get a little stir crazy and feeling a little overwhelmed with just feeding...burping...changing diapers...and repeating. I am trying to get out every once and awhile...JC and I took Maya to trunk or treat...that was nice to get out...:) I will try and blog more but my biggest goal was to blog about the pregnancy etc...Much love Ryan

You asked for it

2011-10-04T21:03:00.002-04:00

Many have asked that I update regarding my appointments this morning. So here it goes. I went in today for a 2nd ultrasound and also non stress test. Today I had a consult with a perinatologist. He called me in and when I got up to greet him he stated "wow you look great for someone with mitral stenosis." What do you say to that?!?!? I said thanks without really understanding what he meant! Once in the office he started asking me lots of questions about my heart disease and my experience with pregnancy and delivery with Maya. I proceeded to attempt and re-cap all 4 1/2 years of it all...but honestly I wasn't that excited to share because I wasn't that thrilled with adding another doctor to the mix only 6 days before my scheduled c section. I have enough on my mind without adding this in. I gave him the basics. He proceeded to tell me all about his not understanding the decision for me to have a c section because a c section isn't risk free. I basically understood from him that either way is equally as risky so why cut?!?! My thoughts were "because my cardiologist said so." I am thinking...my cardiologist...the one that has been seeing me since the day after I went into heart failure following giving birth to Maya...the one that has been following me for the last 3 years and 8 months, the one that cautiously and carefully told me that I could get pregnant and she would do everything that she could to get me though it all with no complication...the one that has consult with a lot of doctors (probably 30 or more) on my case and my pregnancy. He then proceeded to inform me that he was going to call my OB and my cardiologist to discuss this. I was sooooooo frustrated. I mean who is this doctor who doesn't know me and knows very little of my case think he is disrupting everything just because I have "mild heart disease" and he "doesn't understand." I left...I called my husband and parents...and then left a voicemail for my cardiologist. She called me back within the hour and explained that she would talk with the doctor and that nothing was going to change. She called me back tonight and told me she spoke to him. Everything is still on schedule. Mind you, I was sent to this doctor because of concerns that Andrew was small. He barely even discussed that with me except to say he is fine. Now, you might be asking...Well, is the c section a lesser risk? Why is she having a c section? Because my cardiologist says so. Is a C Section less risky? No. Could the same thing that happened with Maya happen this time? Yes. Do they know and feel more prepared this time? Yes. Can they predict the ultimate outcome? No. I know (and I keep trying to remind me friends and family) that this whole thing was risky. JC and I hadn't even decided that it was something we wanted to do when we found out we were pregnant. Someone (eh hem..>God) decided for me. It's all risky, c section or vaginal, and it's all a game now of "wait and see." The delivery itself is stressful for and the typical 3 days post delivery for heart patients is even more scary. How is my heart going to respond to the extra work it's been doing for the last 9 months? How will it adjust to the fluids and extra blood volume suddenly decreasing etc?!??!? We don't know. For now, we pray...pray hard...and just wait and see. I don't know God's plan for me...I just pray selfishly that it includes being healthy and able to care for my two children.

Quick update

2011-10-04T08:14:00.001-04:00

Today I go back to the perinatologist to meet with the doctor after a repeat set of tests to check Andrew's growth and activity level. Last Thursday when they did it he was ranking in the 30th percentile...he's small. I am not too much concerned if he is small just to be sure that he is doing ok inside there... It all started when the OB measured my belly and said it measured too small...the week before they had told me that that is hard because the measurements all depend on the baby's position etc....at the time of measurement. Anyhow, the dr wanted me to see a specialist group that specializes in perinatal care and to see the dr there after having biophysical's and nst's weekly until the baby arrives. This means, this is the last week since we are scheduled with our c section for this upcoming Monday at 3:30 pm. I know that cardiologist and OB surgeon are supposed to speak this week for final preparations for the c section, the perinatologist called requesting my cardio records, the obgyn is gathering the last minute information from my cardiologist etc...it's all coming to an end. I don't see myself going into labor before Monday...there has not been any indication that I will...however, I am still nervous that I will...it's like when parents tell you that you can't do something and you want to do it....the more they tell me how horrible and dangerous it would be for my body to go into labor, the more I am nervous that it is going to happen regardless of the improbability. I am still working...the plan was to work through Friday of this week...to the very end. I do regret that decision...I am so worn out, so tired and so anxious that I feel like some time off would have been nice at least for a couple of days...oh well. My mom arrives on Thursday, and my dad on Saturday...I think that will help. For now, all I can do it pray daily that God be with the doctor's as they prepare for the c section/delivery, and pray for myself to remain stress-free and with low levels of anxiety as the day approaches. Will try to update as to how the appointment goes this morning...

9 days...

2011-10-01T22:39:00.003-04:00

Well...I went to the cardiologist for the last time...she said that she doesn't need to see me again until the c section. Not sure if that was a relief or nerve wrecking...I get peace and comfort from my visits with the cardiologist as I would continually get told how well I was doing...now I just have to wait and see...

I went to the OB on Thursday...normal check up...They measured me...I measured small (this didn't bother be because this always happened with Maya) so they sent me to get an ultrasound...according to the in office ultrasound Andrew is barely 5 lbs...I didn't think anything of it because I am only 36 weeks and didn't think it was a big deal...well, the dr. disagreed. They sent me for another test/ultrasound at the hospital as well as a NST to all check the "well being" of the baby and to be sure that everything is going ok for Andrew in the womb. The tests were ok but did confirm that he is small and then scheduled for me to go back Tuesday for some more of the same tests and continued monitoring as well as to meet with the perinatologist...
Thursday I go back to the OB for my last regular check up before the C Section. It's still scheduled for October 10 at 3:30 pm. The doctor's are coordinating medication/plans/etc...

I am trying to trust my doctors...I am trying to pray and let God...but I am struggling with it because I can't help but have flashbacks and lots of memories flooding my mind from the day that Maya was born. Noone can tell me that everything is going to be ok. I desperately want a "normal" delivery experience and go to the maternity floor right away...I don't want to go to the CCU, I don't want to go to the heart floor and not be with Andrew...

I am also super nervous about the C Section...The idea does not excite me. I know that it's a super routine surgery but still...

JC, Maya and I went out to dinner tonight for the last time as a family of three...my family arrives this week to await Andrew's arrival. The house is pretty much ready and set and we are just waiting.

So anyways...I will try and update you following the tests on Tuesday and my appointment on Thursday.

Please keep praying for me as I have such extreme fear of the delivery of this sweet little boy.

With love,
Ryan :)

As the time draws near...

2011-09-11T22:31:00.002-04:00

We are four weeks out from the c section that is scheduled for October 10. As time draws closer I am feeling some serious anxiety. My pregnancy with Maya was flawless..no issues, perfect really...so the fact that my pregnancy has gone so well has not really given me too much comfort. My complications and difficulties came after she was born. Now, I won't have the stress of labor so yes, that should help...but my cardiologist is real with me...she reminds me that she doesn't have a crystal ball and can't predict. She is working hard on the details of that day and I am trying to rely on those actions. I am in a constant state of prayer for that day. I want to be confident that things will be ok. I am ready to be on the other side of this and that everything is ok.

Changing Mentality

2011-07-11T08:39:00.002-04:00

As I have turned 24 weeks pregnant...I can't believe it. It's just surreal still that we are expecting and it's even more surreal that it's exactly 3 months away from my C Section...I will know next Thursday exactly when it will be scheduled. My cardiologist needs to plan for some things so she is asking for a date...she wants to schedule a cardiovascular specific anesthesiologist and those types of things...I am still not sure how I feel about the C Section but it is my best opportunity of a "normal" delivery so I keep telling myself it will all be fine...for my friends who have had them...be prepared as I will be picking your brain over the next few months... :)

I am finding that as the time passes my mentality is changing...I am finding myself more excited and instead of being consumed with the things that could go wrong with my delivery, time in the hospital and my prognosis after...I am looking forward to other things....such as....
Maya playing with her little brother
Working on the nursery
Little boy clothes are growing on me (although still not as fun as dresses, jellies and hairbows! :))
Re-organizing the house to make space for the little one
Having 2 children in family pictures

Etc...

It's nice to catch myself daydreaming about the fun things to come for my family as opposed to the scary things that are unknown about this whole process...

22 1/2 weeks and counting....

2011-06-27T22:29:00.002-04:00

Well, since the last time I blogged, I went to Honduras!!!! It was an awesome trip as usual and we really had a good time...we were able to spend time with the family and also do some mission work with the TORCH group. We hadn't been for that experience since June 2007 and it was nice to reconnect with some old friends and make new ones!

Upon return from Honduras JC and I had 3 appointments scheduled...our 20 week ultrasound, the fetal echocardiogram for the baby, and also a repeat echo for myself since my heart rate had gone up as of my last check up.

We first went to the 20 week ultrasound and it was great! Nothing was noticed or found that would indicate any type of defect...Praise God. They briefly looked at the heart but they don't really check a lot in that ultrasound...I was thankful that we had the echo later on.

At the fetal echo we got news that baby boys heart is "beautiful" and there isn't anything major going on with his heart. His mitral valve definitely looks better than mine. :) They did tell us that there are 3 things that you can't tell in utero b/c it takes longer for that to occur and that they will check on him again 3 months after he is born so see any of those things. This doctor and my cardiologist told me that those 3 things are very minor and if the baby were to have them it would be easily fixed and he would live a long healthy life. She also told me that there are some things that can give an indication that they could find those 3 things, but they didn't see any of those. JC and I were super relieved that the doctor gave the baby a good bill of health! This pediatric cardiologist saw me shortly after my incident in the hospital. She wasn't too super excited to see me there pregnant but she was optimistic for me. She did take some pictures of my valve and some other areas of the heart and also measured my lung pressures. She informed JC and I that I needed to take it easy because my pressures were elevated and she was concerned....awesome. Well, I missed my echo because the fetal took so long...

This past Thursday I went to my check ups with the OB and Cardiologist.

My cardiologist was pleased with everything...when I told her that my lung pressures were 35 she was happy. She said that is my baseline...she was thrilled and said she would tell the ped dr not to freak me out any more. She said that being almost 6 months and that I am still at my baseline so she is very happy and feeling positive that things are going to be ok. She told me that she is hoping for the most "normal" delivery as possible and hoping that I won't be anywhere in the hospital besides maternity.

She did ask when I would know the c section date...she needs to schedule a special cardio anesthesiologist. She said that they will combat the fluids immediately after the c section...by giving me a lot of diuretics to get the fluids out as soon as possible. She stated that I will be lucky because I won't have the post baby swelling that most women have.... :)

OB visit went well....dr commented on how low the blood pressure is....this is good. My heart rate was back down to 66 at the cardiologist. :) He told me that we would schedule my c section at my next appointment since it is between 37 and 38 weeks...that gives me about 15 weeks to get ready for this little boy....

First of all...he NEEDS a name! :)

Til next time...

Well....

2011-05-26T20:55:00.003-04:00

I went to the doctor today for my next round of check ups. Still can't believe that a month has passed since I went last time...but it has. :)

First I went to the cardiologist. Unfortunately my resting heart rate went from 62 to 82 since my last check up. Not fun. She decided that she needs to go ahead and put me back on my medication to keep my pressure and heart rate down. I explained to her that I have been fine, but a little short of breath at times. Who knows if it's just pregnancy or my heart condition but it is what it is. She is asking me to come in for a repeat echo.

Then I headed to the OB. Everything is good...no weight gain, screening came back normal...all is looking good on that front. They just keep reminding me to be careful and keep watching myself. :/

That's all folks.

June 15 we have the 20 week ultrasound, the fetal echo and also my repeat echo. I will update then. :)

Ryan :)

Soooo.......

2011-05-03T21:49:00.008-04:00

.....last week was a big week. I had what felt like a million appointments and like I spent more time with doctor's than Maya...but at the end of the week...it was a good week. :)

April 25, 2011
I went to the doctor for just an ultrasound and blood work for my first trimester screening...it used to only be recommended for older women or women with higher risk of abnormalities. Well, apparently recently they have started recommending this as just part of being pregnant and for all women. You can read more about the screening here. It combines blood work with an ultrasound and can detect certain chromosomal abnormalities and such...
Well, apparently in this ultrasound they need a certain picture that has like 7 pieces of info...well...after 1 1/2 hrs my child just wouldn't give them the pic that they needed so they scheduled me to go somewhere else the following day. I was too close to the cut off for the screening...

I did see this though....

April 26, 2011
I headed out again to see the ultrasound specialists to try again to see if my little bundle would please cooperate. :)

Well, HE (yes, HE!) did cooperate! :)
They were able to successfully get their pictures, my blood and well a few pics of his little "area!" Of course, JC was super excited to hear that he would have a little boy... :)

Take a look!

It's a boy!

Amazing....

Look at that ARM! :)

Ok well on to the nitty gritty...
April 28, 2011
TWO appointments in one day...yep...two.
First I went to the cardiologist. Kind of makes me nervous when they start hooking me up for the EKG...not sure if I am expecting bad news, but I get nervous. Everything looked good...resting heartrate of 62. This is good considering she told me that she won't need to put me on meds (beta blockers) for my heart rate until I get to 90/100 resting. She was very happy with how I was doing and said she will just keep monitoring. She also reminded me that I will need to schedule a fetal echo around 20 weeks. This echo will tell me if the little boy I am carrying has developed a healthy and heart disease free heart...we will know with a lot of certainty in either direction...only about 3 things (all minor) can possibly be missed.
Of course, I wish I could do it sooner because the anxiety is absolutely killing me. I am just trying to prepare myself in either direction. I am trying not to be comfortable with the statistics (they are in my favor) just in case...the specialist in Houston told me last year in my consultation that the average is about 4% and my chances double...only 8%. I know you are thinking..."Oh Ryan...only 8 %, that's nothing!" I know this...but it doesn't change the anxiety. Heart disease can pass itself down in many forms...the anxiety is tough!
I did mention that I was going to Honduras...she said..."have fun!"

I did bring up the issue of "what if..." "Is it possible that I won't make it through all of this?" My cardiologist is amazing and she won't pass false hopes but she is positive...and that helps.

She scheduled me for 4 weeks.

I then went to the OB. Everything went well there as well...well minus the fact that they weighed me after a huge lunch at On the Border...so not fair. :)
My OB keeps telling me that she feels like everything is going to go well, and that the thing is going to be tricky is after baby and while I am in the hospital recovering. Bless her heart...she just likes to freak me out. Ok maybe not...maybe they just want to keep me real and keep me focused on the important things...I don't know!

Of course...I would consider this a very successful week and I do try to remain as positive as possible....I really do. It's gotten easier.

I have struggled the most with the "what if...?" question. I find myself hugging Maya a little tighter each day and trying to enjoy all of the moments and avoid confrontations just in case...I mean, I pray for the opposite, but sometimes God's plan isn't the same as what I want...I have to be realistic don't I? I tried to talk to my dad about it and he won't have that conversation with me...he said he has "talked to all he needs to talk to..." I asked him who (thinking doctor's) and he said "God...it's all I need."
I guess...but like I said I have to be realistic that sometimes what I want and God's will are not the same...I don't always think like this but I think it's important for me to be realistic.

Keep praying for me!!!!!!!! :)
Much love!
Ryan

Update, Update!

2011-04-11T09:01:00.002-04:00

March 29, 2011
I went to see the cardiologist today. It went well and for the most part I feel better. I had an echo and my heart rate at rest was about 54 (without medication) so she was thrilled with that. She came in to see the echo and review the results, and said "Thankfully your valve and I are well acquainted..." I wish they weren't. :-/
Anyways...everything looks the same as it did this time last year. This was good news. I am not sure if I was expecting this rapid decline in my health just from being pregnant, but that has always been one of the unknowns...will I have a good pregnancy again? Noone knows. A dr from Houston that consulted with me last year cautioned me from assuming that my pregnancy would be without complications a second time around...he said just because it was with Maya does not mean that it would be the same. This was part of the reason JC and I had not decided to try and have another baby. We, well I, was not ready for the risks. I mean, now that it's happened, there is really nothing I can do except hope for the best.
Dr. said that she definitely wants a c section and early enough to avoid my body going into labor. She is hoping ...not sure how I feel about that word...that with monitoring and meds we can avoid the complete nightmare that happened with Maya from happening again. She said she wishes she could guarantee that everything will be ok...but she reminded me that even "healthy women" with no foresight of difficulty have complications. She said she doesn't want me to be stressed out for 8 more months.

Gotta go at 20 weeks for the fetal echo.

Don't get me wrong...my cardiologist is AMAZING...I drive an hour to see her and the hospital she works will be atleast an hour away from my house...I can't leave her...she knows me and she's a woman so she has always been sensitive to my needs and potential wants for my future. But...I wish I didn't have to know her honestly.
She wants to see me monthly to continue monitoring me and will most likely put me back on beta blockers to keep my heart rate slow and allow my heart to completely fill each time...I am guessing an echo or two more throughout the pregnancy as well to continue monitoring me....and of course, I know that I need to be watching for things, swelling (water retention), shortness of breath etc...
Anyone who knows me knows that I think that I am always swollen and short of breath now...I am trying to not be like that.

April 7, 2011
Saw the OB. Talked with them about c section....looks like 38 weeks for the scheduled surgery unless something happens requiring me to do it earlier. The ob, bless her heart, was trying to make me feel better, I think by reminding me that they will take good care of me and that they will work closely with the cardiologist. She also was trying to tell me a story about the advancements in medical technology and specifically heart medicine...atleast I think that was her intent, but instead told me a story about a lady with a heart problem that had a baby and died right after. As she is telling me the story she could probably see that I was about to pass out and kept saying "don't worry her condition was much worse than what you have." Somehow that did not make me feel better. I know she was trying to tell me that I will probably be ok and that we just have to watch closely but the anxiety that left after the visit with my cardiologist...came rushing back in full force.
Go back in 3 weeks and also for an ultrasound for genetic stuff that is supposedly new and they make all moms do it now instead of just older moms. Maybe I will get a glimpse of gender.... :)

April 10, 2011
I gotta admit. I am freakin scared. More than scared honestly. I have moments of "okness" and then I have moments that the fear just takes over my entire being. I have found myself thinking that I need to spend as much time with Maya as possible in case I don't make it through all of this. Sounds crazy I am sure, but I am freaked out. I mean this is the exact reason why I had not decided to do this and go through with it. I actually think I had decided not to do this again and not take chances. I try hard not to think that bad stuff...trust me...if I could eliminate it...I would. I pray...sometimes that helps. Maybe I lack faith, but I just don't believe that God's Will always is the same as ours. I don't know where I fall on the spectrum of faith, but I am really trying to have more.

As far as the regular prego stuff goes...I am super nauseous atleast once a day. YUCK! I am beyond tired...worse than with Maya...guess it's cause I am chasing her around...Haha. Appears that most things milk upset my stomach...which is a total bummer because I LOVE ice cream! :) The baby had a strong heartbeat in the last appointment which was great and appear to be growing nicely because that baby bump hat didn't really appear until 16 weeks with Maya has made its debut already...crazy how your body is almost like "ok...been here before..."

I wish I was going to have a "regular" pregnancy with not so much stuff and I definitely wish I didn't have heart disease, but here I am and I gotta push through....living fully each day.

Well, this is where I stand today. Tomorrow is a new day and I am trying to take it one day and one doctor's visit at a time.

Please don't judge me, I am trying to be as open and honest as I can through this whole process. JC and I are very excited about a new little one, just wishing it was not so complicated.

What's next?
1- 13 week sequential screening and ultrasound (April 25)
2- April 28- Appointments with the OB and the cardiologist for check ups.

Prayers needed!

Much love to everyone. Thanks in advance.

Unexpected surprise...

2011-03-14T14:18:00.013-04:00

On February 24th I found out that I am pregnant.
I freaked out. I cried. I cried some more. I cried a lot.
When I got pregnant with Maya I was sooooo happy and excited and all of that. I am still getting there with this one. I know some might criticize me on not being as "excited" as they think I should be...but it's so much more complicated than that....

Back in January of 2008 when Maya was born, we discovered that I have heart disease...I blogged shortly after describing how things were back them, you can read about it here. Anyways... I had also written two more blog posts after that with some updates....here and here.

Fast Forward to March 2010. I went in for my yearly check up last year with the cardiologist and she asked me if she could take my case to a cardiology conference with her to show and consult with some doctors. At this point she wants to do this because of how well I am doing...you can barely hear the disease by just listening to my heart (which she says is the reason that all of my doctors missed this my whole life), I am exercising again with no difficulty, my echos look great, and she was able to take me off all of my medication (except baby aspirin). She said she would get back with me. Well, about 2 weeks later her office called me to bring me in for a stress echo...a doctor from Houston (whom she has consulted with several times about my case...a mentor type...who specializes in adults with congential heart disease) suggested it to make sure that stressful situations aren't have a negative impact on my heart. So I did it...I went in...did the stress test and "passed" with flying colors. From the test it appeared that running had no negative impact or any impact at all on my heart. AWESOME! So she made a call to the doctor in Houston to give him the results (with me right there in the room) and then she sat me down and told me...based on the results and your progress...we feel ok with telling you that you could have another baby....What? Are you kidding me? Oh my goodness...I about freaked out because at Maya's birth, at my check up around her 1st birthday it was basically told me to me that we would most likely not have more children.
I was bouncing practically out of the office and told JC, my parents etc...I schedule an appointment with the OB to inform them and find out of they were high risks OB's...they are. I was so excited...

Then Operation Freak Out happened...I started reading online, and thinking (ok, mayabe over thinking) about the situation and the risks etc...I decided to go for it...informed my family (immediate and extended) for prayers...and they kind of freaked out about it to...Rightfully too I mean...I understand. JC and I basically decided that we weren't going to go for it. We have Maya, she's healthy, I'm healthy. We went on with life. I started running 4 days per week...lost a good amount of weight...I decided that I would go to my annual exam with the cardiologist this year (it was scheduled for March 29, 2011) and talk with her about it again.

February 24th, 2011...after anguishing for 2 weeks wondering if I was or wasn't, I decided to take a test...and it was super positive, super fast. As I said, I cried and cried...I called JC told him...called my mom (well texted her to call me) and she kind of shreiked...yep, I knew she was panicking. Called the cardiologist and left a message for her to call me back. She did...she told me "great." She told me that I needed to continue with my aspirin and come see her but it wasn't necessary any sooner than March 29th...then she said "OK, now move to the excitement phase please." I could tell she was smiling and I was just freaking out inside. Her calmness made me feel maybe a teeny bit better, but not much I will admit. This is the same doctor that told me back in 2009 that she might jump off a bridge if she found out I was pregnant...

I shared the news with only my closest friends and immediate family to start because I have to be honest...it is taking me some time to get used to this idea...I wasn't thinking about the warm fuzzy feelings about a baby...I was thinking about all of the stuff I have read with possible complications and everything.

I went to the doctor on February 25 and they did an ultrasound for viability, but it was too soon for a heartbeat. JC, Maya and I went back last Thursday and we heard the heartbeat, did measurements....and we found out we are due on October 29th.

I feel like it's time to share the news (although some would say it's too soon)...I mean, how can more prayers and positive thoughts be harmful...I need as much as I can get...because I know that this pregnancy is going to be anxiety ridden for me no matter how hard I try for it not to be. I am petitioning those in my life and those that have known me for years and the ones only a little while to PLEASE pray for me...I will be spending a lot of time at the doctors offices (both OB and Cardiologist) with more tests. I will be having a fetal echocardiogram done around 20 weeks to see if the new baby will have congenital heart disease... I just know me...I know that I am going to need to know that there are A LOT of people out there praying for me...

More specifically please pray:
1. Healthy pregnancy with a low heartrate.
2. Healthy baby with no heart disease.
3. Wisdom for my doctor's as they decide about labor/delivery/csection options and what's going to be the best thing for my heart.
4. Pray for JC to be patient with me as I sort through this all in my head and work through my fears.
5. Pray for me to have faith. I was doing my best not to get pregnant and we got pregnant anyways...God has a part in this...

Thanks you everyone. I appreciate everything in advance. I am going to try to chronicle this as much as possible and journal it...for myself and also for anyone else out there that might have a similar situation. Mayabe I can help someone else out.

-Ryan

Kate is One...

2011-03-05T00:08:00.002-05:00

My sweet niece turned one....crazy!
We got to watch her eat her cake and sing her Happy Birthday tonight via iChat...Gotta love it!!

Happy Birthday Sweet Girl!

Blogging

2011-03-02T12:25:00.002-05:00

Not sure why I can't get into this blogging thing...but I will once again say I will try! Haha. :)
It's been too long.

MAYA IS 3!!! Can you believe that! I can't believe it still...she is growing so much and is such an angel. I can't even describe.

Things with JC and I are well...JC is still trucking (no pun intended) along at UPS and I am working for a non-profit agency in Broward county as as therapist for kids in foster care living in our residential program!

I am waiting the results from my national licensing exam so we will see how that all works out. Hoping to be a licensed marriage and family therapy soon! After that? who knows! I often still wonder what I want to be when I grow up and will I ever decide.

I do know that I'd love to be home more with my little angel. But for the mean time she will continue to enjoy the company of her Abuelos and cousin Benjamin...they have a love/hate relationship...almost like brother and sister...I definitely think it's more love than hate of course... ;)

JC, Maya and I are planning to head back to Honduras this summer on an official TORCH Missions trip...it's been a few years since doing that and I am so curious as to how Maya will do on a trip...I think she'll be fine...maybe I can convince my dad to give me a discount so she can translate! Haha. Maya is bilingual...she tends to speak more in English but we are all working with her on responding in Spanish.

Well, I think that's about it for now.... :)
Til next time...which will hopefully be sooner than later...

-Ryan

My 2 1/2 Year Old

2010-08-04T13:37:00.002-04:00

I sat with Maya last night and listened to her answer my question "how was your day?" She answered me...in a full conversation. She told me all about her day, what she watched on tv, what she ate, her bathtime. She also told me "I missed you today Mommy, I missed while I was at Abuela's house." Ah. It was the single most perfect conversation I have had in a long time. My little angel isn't so little anymore...she has a personality, she's so smart (and I am not just saying that because I am her mom...come on, she's completely bilingual), she's funny, and most of all she "misses me when at Abuela's house." Being Maya's mom is the most fulfilling job I have have ever had and she makes my heart so happy.

I can truly understand my mom more than I ever have and her desire to talk to me and for me to want to talk to her.

I look forward to so many more conversations with my little one and I hope she always misses me, but that I always continue to foster her already strong, sense of independence.

Lots of thinking lately

2010-01-21T09:17:00.003-05:00

Sometimes I am good at telling myself not to think about it and sometimes I am not. Maybe it's Maya's age...she's gonna be 2 on Sunday...but I am really wishing that I could have atleast one more baby. Maya loves her baby cousin so much and I know she would be an awesome big sister...
I know, I know...It's been 2 years and 1 since they gave me the final word on no more children...and you'd think it would have gotten easier...but with Maya's birthday coming and my check up with the cardiologist it has made me start really thinking about it more.

God has a reason for everything, this I know. I really do. Intellectually I know everything...God is in control...Everything happens for a reason...I have to stay healthy for Maya and not take risks that could likely take me from her....but it seems that my mind and brain can't explain well enough to my heart for the feelings to go away.

Keep praying for me...

One Day by Matisyahu

2010-01-20T20:19:00.003-05:00

These are the lyrics to a song called One Day by Matisyahu. This song has really touched me lately.

sometimes I lay
under the moon
and thank God I'm breathing
then I pray
don't take me soon
cause I am here for a reason
sometimes in my tears I drown
but I never let it get me down
so when negativity surrounds
I know some day it'll all turn around
because
all my life I've been waiting for
I've been praying for
for the people to say
that we don't wanna fight no more
they'll be no more wars
and our children will play
one day x6
it's not about
win or lose
we all lose
when they feed on the souls of the innocent
blood drenched pavement
keep on moving though the waters stay raging
in this maze you can lose your way (your way)
it might drive you crazy but don't let it faze you no way (no way)
sometimes in my tears I drown
but I never let it get me down
so when negativity surrounds
I know some day it'll all turn around
because
all my life I've been waiting for
I've been praying for
for the people to say
that we don't wanna fight no more
they'll be no more wars
and our children will play
one day x6
one day this all will change
treat people the same
stop with the violence
down with the hate
one day we'll all be free
and proud to be
under the same sun
singing songs of freedom like
one day x4
all my life I've been waiting for
I've been praying for
for the people to say
that we don't wanna fight no more
they'll be no more wars
and our children will play
one day x6

Update on the boring stuff...

2010-01-07T08:49:00.006-05:00

I think my family will have a good year this year. So far 2010 has gotten off to a good start.

JC is still working for UPS and is working more hours now than he was during peak season which happens every year. I guess UPS has the helpers during peak season but not after and so logically that means JC works more. JC tells me not to complain because he gets paid hourly, but you know I would much rather have JC home with me more in the evenings. On the other side neither of us work on the weekends so we always look forward to those. JC takes Maya on Saturday and Sunday mornings to swim lessons where she is actually learning to swim. Those of you who know Maya know that she is FEARLESS with the water and we decided that she needed to learn to float, go to the side and then swim....it's working. We are hoping by the summer she will be ready to be at the pool and beach a lot. Just before the holidays she got her first blue ribbon for floating by herself...the swim school has been closed for two weeks so we will see how the lessons goes this weekend. JC is enjoying being a dad and I just love watching him with Maya...She loves her daddy.

Maya is growing and developing by leaps and bounds for what seems like every hour. Every time Maya moves into a different stage I think "this is the best stage" and then the next out does it. RIght now she is "talking" like crazy and every day more of it makes sense. In the last month she has moved from saying "huh" to everything to actually having the words. She is learning Spanish and English simultaneously and understands anything anyone says to her in either language. When I am working she goes to stay with my mother in law and in their house they only speak to her in Spanish. I was very strong with this....I want Maya to speak Spanish and this is the best time for her to learn it. Obviously with me we speak English and with JC it's some of both. WHen he is talking directly to her or with her...it's Spanish but when we are as a family it's both b/c I understand Spanish too.
She is a mess and those of you that know Maya know I am telling the truth. She is a funny, active, and extremely social little girl. She loves playing outside and being at the park. She will be 2 on the 24th of this month and it is sooo hard for me to believe that so much time has passed and my baby is getting bigger. She is going through a phase where she only wants me...which I will take. I don't mind at all. :)

And as for me....I am still working with teens in foster care. I work with mostly boys but I have a couple of girl clients and I really enjoy my job. It's difficult sometimes and I could do without the beurocracy of the non profit child welfare agencies but for the most part I love what I do. Health wise I am doing well...I have lost all baby weight plus 8 lbs. I could lose more but it's hard to find tons of time to work out with my schedule. I am working on that...I am gonna join the brand new YMCA that just opened down the street. My heart needs exercise. So far so good with the heart stuff...I go for my yearly follow up and echo at the beginning of March so we will see how that goes. I am sure I will talk more about that the closer it gets...it always seems to bring up lots of mixed feelings and emotions.

Well, that's the boring stuff from the Hernandez house.

Bye for now! :)
Ryan

"Oops!" -Maya

JC and Maya

Me and my girl

The weights were dusty...

2010-01-01T22:46:00.003-05:00

New Years resolutions...I have never understood why we need New Years to make resolutions, but it works...almost 10 years ago I made a resolution to lose weight and I did it...I lost 50 lbs and have kept off 40 of it (a baby later in my defense:)). It still doesn't make sense to me what is so special about New Years for resolutions, but I suppose if it makes us look back over the year before and see how we can be better or do better, then it can't be all that bad.
This year...my biggest resolution is to make more "me time!" That includes so many things...if I make more "me time" I can exercise more, read the Bible more, pray more, etc...I feel like if I can focus on myself some more than it will just make me feel better. As a mom and wife, it's hard sometimes to focus on yourself...and not in a selfish way...it's hard not to have every moment of every day be dedicated to your daughter and husband (in my case) and forget to give time to yourself. Don't get me wrong...I LOVE taking care of both JC and Maya but sometimes I need to just give myself some time for me...and this year in 2010 I am going to do that more...in the form of little things...like exercise and reading the Bible more, but I am going to make the honest effort...Ask me about it sometimes...just to make sure I do it. :)

Feliz Ano Nuevo!

2010...Hears Hoping for Health and Prosperity

2009-12-29T08:29:00.002-05:00

Hey! Yeah so I am realizing that it has been almost a full year since I blogged last....crazy hu? I'd say so. I am gonna work on it and try to blog more often. I am currently working on my new years resolutions. I am hoping that I can narrow down to like 3 so it will be more realistic ya know? I know that one is going to be to blog more...not that I have lots of insightful thoughts to share but just to keep people posted on what's going on down here with us!
Happy New Year everyone and I will be back! :)

Ryan

Welcome to Honduras!

2009-01-01T01:50:00.004-05:00

Hanging out at the airport with Jonathan, Oneida and Melvin! Love them all so much!

We had an uneventful trip to San Pedro Sula by plane and Tegucigalpa by car on Sunday night. We arrived super late and we were simply exhausted. We were so happy to be welcomed that night by not only my parents but also had Jonathan here waiting for us! It was GREAT to hug his neck!

It has been LOTS of wedding planning. We have been running around doing what we can for Carly. I am here for her benefit, whatever I can do. She is one of my dearest friends, and my cousin and I am happy to be here.

We were able to spend this morning with Melvin and Yonni! Yonni is almost 18 years old and fully supporting his 4 siblings that still live in their home! :( He is struggling....your prayers would be awesome for him! I am always shocked when I am here at the struggles that these kids go through on a daily basis. I am glad I am shocked and that God continues to touch me with my experiences and relationships here...it helps keep me level.

We also got to spend some time with JC's extended family here so that was awesome!

I am looking forward to Carly's wedding...I am so excited the rest of my family has arrived and we are looking forward to many days togehter! Next week, AFTER the wedding we will do some small mission trip type things! YEAH! We are even going to build houses on the day before the wedding!! :)

Maya is loving her 2nd trip to Honduras! She is AMAZING!!! I hope that she will always remember what a very blessed little girl she is and always give back. If I can instill that in her as her mother, I will be very pleased!

She took her first two steps yesterday, I was nothing but thrilled that JC AND I BOTH were there to see it! She did it again this morning with 2 steps and took 5 or so this afternoon! She is so much fun and I am looking forward to more adventures with her here in Honduras!

I will try to update when I can (trying to get back in the blogging habit (a resolution maybe?)!!!

God Bless!
Ryan

Honduras

2008-12-30T10:07:00.003-05:00

Hey! We are in Honduras again! Yeah! Having a blast already, I will post tonight with lots of pictures and an update! We are here for my cousin's wedding but also a mini mission trip with my mom's entire side of the family! :) It's awesome!

Look for updates later!

Sad Day in Miami

2008-11-18T22:56:00.000-05:00

Hi everyone!!!
Well, I went for my next echo today with a pediatric work up. This is a more intensive and comprehensive echo that measures
and looks at much more than an adult work up. Anyways, they really needed to examine me more as he case is so complex and
interesting...I promise my story will end up on Grey's Anatomy one day.
Anyways, this new test showed some very clear and more concise pictures of my heart and the reality of wat has been going on
and what I have. It is determined now that I have RHEUMATIC (not congenital) heart disease. This brings many more
complications in prognosis and the future. This means that it is much more progressive and surgery will be in my future, they
just don't know when.
This also means that pregnancy and future children are not possible. It is way too dangerous and risky to myself and to a baby.
Obviously I am extremely sad and struggling.
I wanted to update. Thanks in advance for continued prayers.

Faith

2008-10-14T19:50:00.005-04:00

Learning to trust God at 27. Is it really possible that after years of growing up in the church and having two of the most faithful people I know as parents that I am just learning what it means to really trust God and believe that he is truly taking care of me. I think I have always "known" but it hasn't been until the last almost 9 months that I am truly truly in my heart of hearts really believing it. 2008 has been a truly trying yet amazing year.
January 24, 2008 was an amazing yet horrifying day. I wish I was able to enjoy Maya's birth as much as I wanted to. I couldn't breathe on my own and was connected to 90 % oxygen. I didn't sleep. I couldn't breastfeed. I was hooked up to tubes and monitors and they were taking blood a lot.
January 25, 2008 I learned that I experience heart failure from labor as a result of my congenital heart disease that I didn't know I had. I learned that doctor's don't know everything. They don't know how it was never diagnosed. They don't know how my body tolerated pregnancy, labor and eventually delivery without killing me (literally speaking). They don't understand how a 27 year old active woman has this condition for 27 years and they don't know what to tell me or how to handle me. I watched my parents agonize over how they missed this. I watched my husband agonize over who to spend time with...his brand new sweet baby girl, or his very sick wife. I watched friends come and go visiting and not know what to say to me.
January 26, 2008 I was taken off oxygen completely and moved out of the CCU and onto a normal floor and was able to get out of bed. I was told this was extremely fast and that my body recovered amazingly.
January 27, 2008 I was released to the maternity floor where I was finally able to be in the same room and hold my baby girl whenever I wanted.
January 28, 2008 More tests.
January 29, 2008 they finally sent me home. They were amazed that 5 days after almost dying I was going home. I was going home with the instructions to "be mom" "enjoy your daughter" and in a few months you will probably endure open heart surgery to replace this faulty valve that noone knew was faulty until now.
How do you go home with those instructions? Well, I didn't very well. I was scared to be alone with Maya for fear that something would happen and she would be left alone. I was so afraid that I wasn't going to make and be Maya's mom. I learned to appreciate every day. I valued and cherished and loved my mother for giving up 5 weeks to be with me. I thanked my dad for letting her. I appreciated my husband for being so positive and believing out loud that everything would be ok when I know in his heart he was just as scared as I was.

October 14, 2008. I have the most beautiful and healthy baby girl, who has been cleared of any heart difficulties (Praise God). I went to the doctor for the last real time (other than yearly follow-ups). I was told that I am years away from open heart surgery if I ever need it at all. I have been told that all thing related to my heart are back to "normal" and only slightly above normal levels. I learned that I will be able to have more babies (except a C-section is a must) and that the risks only slightly increase from the average person for passing the disease along...she compared it to diabetes, stroke, cancer....if we all stop having babies because we could pass one of these things along then she says we should all stop having babies. I was told that I am still a mystery and that I am one of a few who are in my situation and in my category!

I don't believe it is a mystery. I believe that it is nothing short of a miracle. I believe that God took care of me that day like none other. I believe that God has greater plans for me and my amazing family...why else would he spare me?!

I have learned so much about my strength and endurance as a human, as a woman and as a mother. I have learned that God is faithful and that he is taking care of me. I have learned that life is not always perfect and you are thrown curve balls sometimes. Cliches? Not for me.

What is a miracle exactly?

2008-02-22T08:41:00.002-05:00

I have been really searching for the meaning and the purpose behind everything that has happened over the last 4 weeks and I have realized that so much of what has happened has been a miracle.

Hello...I am here to talk about it with you to start with.

My cardiologist told me that she has treated women with my disease (different origin but same disease) during pregnancy that had to have surgery for repair in the their pregnancy b/c they could not breathe. I had no issues in my pregnancy...I did a TORCH trip in my first trimester, a 5K walk/run in the second trimester and walked and worked out (occasionally...I won't lie) throughout the entire pregnancy.

I went into labor and successfully with no difficulty (besides the fact that it hurt like heck) delivered Maya to come and be with JC and me! According to one cardiologist, had they know about my difficulty I would have never been allowed to go into labor like that...it would have been a C-section if I had been allowed to get pregnant at all.

I recovered from 90% oxygen in 36 hours and was completely breathing on my own and then out of the hospital in 5 days.

I am sure I could come up with more miraculous things that have happened, but for now I stop there.

On Tuesday I went to the pediatric cardiologist (same one Maya has) for that last echocardiogram and it was determined that the origin is congenital and that is fantastic news. The progression is far less and could actually halt and for that I am grateful! She also agreed that there is no need to do anything until I become symptomatic...and that could be decades from now. There are issues with birth control and pregnancy but right now my job is to stay healthy and be here for this amazing little girl I have now...It is kind of fun being a case that noone has seen and that they don't understand b/c I am getting second, third and all the way to 30 opinions. My case was presented by the cardiologist to a conference of cardiologists and surgeons for confirmation of origin and possible surgical options...turns out that when I do become (if I do) symptomatic a replacement will be necessary as opposed to repair, however there a couple of surgeons out there (Boston and Houston) who are being asked if they feel they could do a repair. Of course this is all many years from now and maybe by then there will be other surgeries and other ways to fix me up if needed. I believe though that God has brought me 27 years with this and that he will continue to watch over me and hey...maybe heal me or something! For now, Maya needs her mommy to be all to her and focused on her...so I try to just take it one day at a time and do the best I can.

Am I scared? Heck yeah... but I am confident I can make it. God and prayer has brought be really far in the last 4 weeks about my condition and for that I am eternally grateful because living with fear is no wa to live at all.

Answered Prayers

2008-02-15T14:38:00.002-05:00

Well, I went to the cardiologist today and had some good news. No, the miracle I was hoping for didn't happen, but God works in ways that I don't think we are always supposed to understand. The doctor was very positive about my recovery. Apparently my case is very unique and I don't fit the mold or textbook definition of mitral valve stenosis (congenital or rheumatic). There is still some testing to do in order to determine whether it is congenital or rheumatic b/c that will determine how the disease will progress....but the doctor doesn't see any reason to look for surgery in the immediate or near future. She said that if it is determined that it is rheumatic then maybe a replacement will be necessary in 10-15 years, but if it is congenital the progression is completely different and may never progress past where I am now, meaning maybe no surgery at all. I am having another echo on Tuesday and that will most likely determine the origin. Please pray that they determine that this is congenital b/c that is the best case scenario long term.
Thank you so much for continued prayers and thank God (daily please) that this is something that has not progressed as far as they once thought when everything happened to me following Maya's birth.
God has kept me healthy and I feel fantastic. Please continue to keep me in our prayers and I will post more following the test and results on Tuesday!
Thanks!!!

10 days

2008-02-03T13:04:00.000-05:00

I don't even know where to begin on the last 10 days of my life...yes, it has only been 10 days but these 10 days have to have been the most difficult, challenging, and amazing days that I have ever experienced.

On January 24 I went into the office for a farewell breakfast, thinking that maybe I was having contractions, but I had never had a baby before so I didn't know. Well, upon arriving home and trying to catch up on a law and order episode I realized I was...I called the doctor and they sent me to the hospital to see and have the contractions monitored. Can you believe that at this exact time my mom was flying into Ft. Lauderdale airport. It's true...a friend picked her up for me and drove her to the hospital, JC was coming from work, and my dad was headed down from Alabama. I was 3 centimeters dialated and my contractions were 2-5 minutes apart. They admitted me. Labor progressed nicely without medication and by 11:32 pm that evening Maya Kate came into the world to be with me and JC.

About 20 minutes following her arrival I began to experience trouble breathing...I was coughing up blood and the doctors and nurses were scrambling to find out what was wrong and how to stop it. Over the next two days, time in the CCU, not being with my baby...I learned that I have heart disease. They still aren't sure if I was born with it or it developed in childhood, but they do know that it was heart failure that caused fluid to back up into my lungs during childbirth. I have never had any problems my whole life which is another baffling thing for the doctors.

When you are pregnant you worry so much about the baby and what childbirth will be like for the baby and will the baby be ok, I never once thought about childbirth's effects on me and would I make it through childbirth.

I know that Maya and JC is what helped me make it through that night...it helped me fight to make it to be her mom and JC's wife.

I have come home now and they have me on medications to help my heart not have too much strain. I will be following up with the cardiologist on Feb. 15 and from there we should have more information on the cause of my heart disease, the progression of the disease and my treatment options. It is going to involve surgery, but whether it can be a less invasive or open heart we don't know yet. It will depend on what all of the doctors see and decide based on my test results. I will also be having another procedure in a couple of weeks to also help with the decision making process of treatment.

I need everyone's prayers to help me get through this physically and emotionally. I have my good moments and bad moments...I have times where I have so much hope and faith and then moments where the fear overwhelms me and I can't see the positive. Please keep JC in your prayers as well as he deals with everything himself.

Maya is perfect! She is an amazing little girl and her birth has made all of this "worth it". Many have said that Maya saved my life by bringing this disease to light and allowing me to be treated so that I can be here for many years to be her mom.

Thank you in advance for the prayers that will be lifted up on our behalf!

Ryan

Baby Baby Baby

2007-09-16T10:12:00.001-04:00

Oh my goodness...baby girl clothes are amazing! My mom and dad were here since Tuesday visiting and my mother and I really had a good time shopping for clothes for Maya!!!! The first grand daughter is going to be spoiled I think by Pops and Lola (well maybe me too). We also completed (well mostly) my registry at Babies R Us. Who knew how much stuff there is for babies and how much you need for a baby!!! It is crazy!
I had a good time registering BUT man oh man...I would get so overwhelmed deciding what I need, what I want and what is just too cute!! Hahaha. I was going to split the registry but I just found that it was easier to do it at one place for my own sanity!
Thankfully my mom has some great friends who are willing to donate to my cause some key pieces for me (really nice breast pump and jogging stroller). Hand-me-downs are the best things ever and I am not above accepting that stuff!!! :)

And the news is...

2007-09-12T21:28:00.000-04:00

JC and I are having a baby girl!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We had our 20-week ultrasound today and it was absolutely amazing!! We saw the head, the spine, the arms, the legs, everything! She was moving like crazy and when the guy used the wand to probe her to move for him she pushed him back!!! Sassy girl already! Hahaha. It is great to say that everything looked perfect and right how it is supposed to be!

We are so excited and can't wait to welcome Maya Kate Hernandez into the world!

Ryan

Getting ready to be a mom!!!!!!!

2007-09-07T15:21:00.000-04:00

Okay...well, now that they pregnancy stuff has gotten alittle better. I have stopped feeling nauseous thankfully and I am really glad that I wasn't as sick as I have read that Tasha was! That would be awful so I was blessed even though I didn't think so at the time. I stopped right at about 16 weeks.

Next week is a full baby week for me....
Monday I go for my 20-week OB appointment and on Wednesday I have my big ultrasound. I am excited about finding out whether this little bugger is a boy or girl, but I am also anxious that everything will go well. I haven't felt the baby move yet so I am enxious to verify that evreything is ok. My mom and dad are coming so I am super excited about that...glad that they will be a part of the pregnancy this way. I will also be registering next week...I have already started looking.

I have started to get really anxious about being a parent. I am scared I have to say! JC hasen't expressed any anxiety or ANYTHING so maybe I am just crazy! I am nervous that I won't know what to do...won't be good at it...that they baby will be really difficult...and really nervous that I will develop post-partum depression! I work in the mental health field so I hear a lot about it. I am anxious about not having fmaily close by...mom is coming after the baby is born for as long as I want I hope (hint hint :)) but after she leaves....AGH!

Anyways...just venting a little bit! I guess the next blog will be the big announcement! :)

Pregnancy..........

2007-08-23T20:46:00.000-04:00

16 weeks pregnant

Would I have not gotten pregnant had I known that it was this difficult...I don't know....but wow! I sure wish I had a better idea!!!!! Hahaha.
Well, I am hoping that the nausea will wear off soon!!! Pray for me!

Please keep me and the baby in your prayers!!!!! We find out what we are having on September 12th! YEAH!

Life in Honduras.....

2007-06-09T22:14:00.000-04:00

Since blogging last so many amazing things have happened! The people of Honduras have just captured my heart in a deep deep way!

On Wednesday JC and I spent the majority of the day at Hospital Escuela! YUCK! This is the public hospital in town where the poor have to go. We learned this year that the patients there now have to provide their own meds and food while in the hospital. To me this defeats the purpose! Anyways, we met some amazing children and their families that have learned to TRULY rely on God for their needs and they teach us this powerful lesson each time we come!
That night we went to the Jesus Statue that is an amazing place to have devo! It was powerful to look over the city at night and not see the poverty that we have surrounded ourselves with daily! The beauty of the world is here in Honduras...

On Thursday my brothers church in Tulsa sponsored the building of a home here that my family was a part of. The house was built for Mariano, Melvin's brother, his wife and their two kids, and Mariano's sister Mirna. Mirna is the young lady I blogged about earlier that was extremely ill. It was awesome! She would have a new home to come to out of the hospital. God is good!

On Friday, JC and I spend the day with his family and visiting some cousins that JC has never met! It was a blessing to meet them and finally see their faces.

Saturday, JC and spent the day with my mom and Aunt Cheryl going to the hospital to pick up Mirna and bring her home. Now, the fact that this girl is alive is a miracle in and of itself. Had we not found her when we did the doctor's have assured us that she would have died. Mirna had her baby about a month ago and the baby passed away and when the hospital did a procedure to "clean her out" they punctured her uterus and then sent her home...not on purpose I hope but in any case....Well, she got an infection that spread to her bladder. She could not urinate for 3 weeks and the infection worsened! The infection continued until we found her because her brother Melvin told my mom that she was not doing well. When we found her she appeared 9 months pregnant and her abdomen was as hard as a rock....we took her to emergency. The doctors report that the infection had spread to her blood and that they were not sure she would make it. The did a surgery to do a hysterectomy (at age 19) and ended up being able to repair all the damage...Thanks to God!
Mirna is doing amazing and God really looked out for her and placed us in the right places at the right time to be able to help her!

Well...when Mirna was discharged today and we had to pay the bill....you can only imagine....it was quite substantial. My mom and I split the bill on our credit cards and we just know that the hearts of many will help us pay for it! If it has been placed on your heart to help please please let me know. Comment on here or e-mail me at rjchernandez@hotmail.com

Our choice was to take her to a hospital that could care for her, or leave her in her home to die and to us that wasn't a choice. Were we stupid to take her to the best private hospital in the city? I like to think that we took a leap of faith!! Is there a price for a life? If we hadn't this young woman would have died and to us that wasn't a choice to make...

We know that God will help provide the money that we need to pay this bill!!! If you can help at all please let me know!

Nothing short of a Miracle....

2007-06-06T00:52:00.000-04:00

Hey everyone! Today was another wild and crazy day! :)
JC and I went on the house building crew today and it was great! I just love building the houses...my fav. part is roofing, but of course being pregnant and climbing to the roof made of tin where I would balance and hopefully not fall was not on the list of things I was allowed to do....SO...I stuck to sorting the wood, nailing the siding and the floor!!
Well, you could see the rain all around us in the city and it never got us....however it did poor that night but the older man and his wife that the home was for had a NEW ROOF over them and they didn't have to worry about rain anymore.

Some amazing news is this...

Mirna had her surgery so thank you to everyone for your prayers. The surgery was a success....she is still in critical condition but the doctors say she will be fine. The most amazing part is they were able to repair her uterus without removing it! This is such amazing news and it can be considered nothing short of a miracle. She will go home in about 4 days. Please continue to pray!

Well, I haven't had any side effects from being pregnant that have been too bad...I have been very tired and need to rest a lot but hey that's ok! I have my first doctor's appointment on June 18th! :)

Check http://torchmission.blogspot.com for more on the group as a whole!

You can view photos at http://www.jasonburtphoto.com/Honduras/

Here are a few pictures from the trip so far....

Ryan and Melvin :)

JC and Ryan after building the house

Ryan, Crystal, JC and Uncle Don in front of the house

In the door of the new house

Ryan and Crys with the tools!

The completed house (door side)

Ryan and Yonni (one of my boys)

Ryan, Oneida, Melvin, and a couple of other kids from the mountain

Ryan, JC and Jonathan

The crazy ridiculous trench we are digging...we got done 1/3 of one side.....

More trench

WOW!

2007-06-04T23:54:00.000-04:00

Wow...it has been a couple of days and we have done a lot already. There have been two houses built, visits to the hospital, trenches dug, etc etc...

Well, yesterday we went to church in San Miguel, YEAH...I got to see all my boys there. Jonathan is looking amazing and he is having full range of motion with his leg and his arm. It is so amazing that he is doing so well considering how bad off he was two years ago!

JC and I visited with some of his family while the group hung out at the Mission House. It was a good time.

TODAY....JC and I worked with the crew that was digging a trench...yes I was careful...every guy on the crew was on me about drinking water and taking it easy..SO I DID. Anyways, it was super super hard work and needless to say we are so exhausted.

JC and I went with my mom, aunt and cousin to check on Mirna, Melvin's sister.

Mirna was 8 months pregnant when she delivered her son on May 18th. Her son died on May 23rd. They buried him on May 25th. My mom and dad took her to the hospital because she was really sick. The first private hospital they took her to turned her away because she was so poor. They sent her to Hospital Escuela (the public hospital) where she had a botched procedure where they tore a hole in her uterus "accidentally" and sent her home with NO medication. Anyways, when we found her today she was in critical condition and had we not found her...she might not have made it through tonight. We took her to a different private hospital that took her in...of course after we greed and signed the papers to pay the bills. She is 19 and having an emergency hysterectomy tomorrow. The infection started there and has now spread to her blood and there is possible kidney failure.

PLEASE keep her in your prayers as she is having surgery at 4:00 PM Honduras time (6:00 PM eastern).

Thank you and I will keep you posted.

Welcome to Honduras!

2007-06-03T00:36:00.000-04:00

Well, JC and I arrived safely this evening to Teguc! We are so excited to be here and we enjoyed a great celebration in the devotional tonigh!!

I was also able to share some really fantastic news with the family members here in Honduras with us....that JC and I are going to have a baby! We don't have a due date yet BUT.....

So we are really happy about it! :)

Anyways we are headed to San Miguel tomorrow and I just can't wait to see all of the "our boys"!!!!!! I will be beginning the picture marathon SO....I will post more tomorrow!

Getting Ready for Honduras

2007-05-31T16:48:00.000-04:00

Hey there everyone! JC and I are leaving to Honduras on Saturday and we would really appreciate your prayers!

I am hoping to be able to have internet access while I am there and I will be able to blog and put pictures of what we are doing! :)

We are really looking forward to it! :)

Thanks guys!

Ryan

Preparation

2007-05-28T20:48:00.000-04:00

Wow. It has been so long since I have blogged!! I can't believe how "busy" life can be. It is amazing how life changes and brings you to places that you never imagined. I titled this blog "Preparation" because at this time in my life, JC and I are preparing for what seems to be so many things.

We are now preparing for a TORCH trip. We leave on Saturday! We are really looking forward to joining a group trip again. It is something that we have not done in a few years and we miss that aspect of going to Honduras. We can't wait to see our old friends in Honduras. We can't wait to see a lot of family, JC's and mine, also while we are there. We definitely need prayers and are looking forward to the time that we will have there. I will try to blog while I am there but I will definitely do it when we return if we can't.

We are preparing for our 5th year of marriage! I can't believe that we just celebrated 4 years. It seems like we were just married and I ventured to this side of the country. The 5th year...isn't that some kind of milestone? I don't know. All I do know is that I am SO happy with JC and that God has truly blessed me with an amazing husband who continues to grow with me. I will never pretend that these four years have been perfect, but we have learned so much and grown the same.

We are preparing for the possible purchase of our first home. It is so difficult here...things are just so expensive. It is a decision that we are not taking lightly and that we are really looking into before doing anything. Do we wish that it was less expensive and we could have already done it? Sure. Who doesn't? God is definitely teaching us a lesson in patience and waiting for his time! You would think that after all of these years I would know this already....I still have so much to work on and grow in.

The biggest thing that we are struggling and preparing for is the possibility of starting a family. We have already decided that it is something that we want to do however, it is being shown to us that this may not be God's timing. It is hard...I am 26 and that this has been such a difficult thing to accomplish. When you are a little girl and you think about growing up and wanting to have children, you don't really think about whether you can or not...at least I didn't. Now, I am not saying that the doctor's have said I can't...I haven't even gone to see yet...BUT it is hard to not be so discouraged, when so many around you are having children and moving into that time in their life. I really need prayers with this. I am having such a hard time understanding and want so badly to control this for myself...and I am learning and realizing that I can't. God is teaching me something...I don't know what yet, but something. Please keep us in your prayers...especially me.

Argudin Wedding.

2006-12-25T22:55:00.000-05:00

Daisy and Ife got married! Woo hoo! Here are some pictures from the wedding!

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love

2006-10-21T23:21:00.000-04:00

It is such an amazing feeling....
Knowing that you have one person in the world who is your biggest fan.....
Someone who is always on your side....
Someone who loves you more than anyone or anything....
Someone who will give up his favorite thing in the world so that you can sleep at night...

What would I do without him!?!?!?

I love my husband so much!

A lonely place....

2006-10-08T16:02:00.000-04:00

You would think that in a city as HUGE (annoyingly huge) as Miami it would be hard to be lonely. Well, it's not so hard.

Miami is busy....lots of cultures, always events going on....yet, I continue to find myself so incredibly lonely. No family around...not a single person that I feel like I can really talk to about anything substantial without it making it's way to someone else.

Yes, a wonderful husband will help pass a lot of time, but what about the times you just want to hang out with a girlfriend for coffee or walk around the mall? Its hard for me to do really...especially when the few people you would consider friends always say "no".... "no"... and again "no".... And equally as hard is when you call family or friends far away and they never have time to talk...always have something else to do....they will call you back and they don't. Yes, I understand that people are busy...I am busy (with my job, the house, jc) but I always feel like and have always felt like you make time for friends and family...no matter what. That 's just what you do.

Am I that terrible of a person? Maybe so, not really sure... I just know that life is extremely lonely sometimes...Times like these I realize that I have God and JC....(and family of course but in far away places)...and that is just about it.

Hanging with Celebs! Hahaha.

2006-09-18T22:10:00.000-04:00

So, JC and I spent the weekend at the beach here in Miami with my cousin Crystal and some friends of hers. We had a GREAT time.

It is funny...all of the people with Crystal and her crew from up north kept asking us if we LOVED Miami and if we go out all the time? Do we see celebrities etc.... Yeah Miami is a cool place to live but it is hot, humid, there are always hurricanes, it is busy, crowded and people are rude. So, yes I like Miami but it is certainly WAY cooler when you are just visiting....and we never go out. Noone could believe that we just stay in on the weekends, but it is sadly true... :)

The other popular question was if we saw celebrities, and we answered that we saw Ludacris once at the Hard Rock, but that was it....well.........low and behold.........WE SAW SHAKIRA AND WYCLEF at the club that we went to Saturday night. It was awesome...I was so bummed already because the concert was sold out, but it made my night to see Shakira and to hear Wyclef perform some...IT WAS AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anyone who knows me knows that I dream to be Shakira...so can you imagine how AWESOME this was to me!!!!!!!!!!

Back from Birmingham

2006-09-06T20:49:00.000-04:00

Oh my. Is it really possible to love a little kid so much that isn't even yours??? I am of course referring to my nephew. He is just so wonderful and I have so much fun being with him! It is always great to spend time with Eric and Jenny too. We don't see eachother as often as I would like...if I had it my way I would be living much closer to all of my family. Living so far is so HORRIBLE! :(
I tried hard not to cry when we had to leave Monday and it just didn't work out for me? It is horrible...I sometimes wonder if he will love and adore Eric and Jenny's friends more than me? Is that bad?
I wonder what God has planned for me and JC? We both want to move...I so desperately want to be closer to my family...and just imagine when I have my own children? AGH! It will just get worse!!! I keep thinking that God must have something great planned for us otherwise he wouldn't have us here...right? I don't really know.

Here are some pictures from the weekend.

Will with his Uncle JC hanging out...

Me and my munchkin! Isn't he precious??!??!!?

Pops, Lola (Philipino for Grandmother) and their baby!

Nate came to see Eric and meet Will on his way home from Florida. It was GREAT to see him...

Can you tell that they took this picture as I was saying good-bye?!!?!? What were they thinking?

E and J...Aren't they glowing?

Lola and her baby boy!

We went to a car show...it was nice!

Pops is so proud!

Could he look any more like Eric?

He loves his bath time....alittle too big for the sink.....:)

Well, there you have it! We had a GREAT time...I miss everyone already, it will be a very difficult few months for JC and I as we have to find a way to be okay with not seeing everyone.

I am so blessed that JC has fallen so in love with my family. It is the best gift I could have asked for....

Hi

2006-08-31T20:46:00.000-04:00

I don't really have anything insightful to offer you all...so I guess "hello" will have to do....

Keep us in your prayers as we travel to Birmingham this weekend to see my parents and Eric's family! :)

SO SORRY!

2006-08-10T10:43:00.000-04:00

If you are still faithfully reading my blog then I owe you an apology! I left you hanging about the rest of my time in Honduras. We spent this past Tuesday and Wednesday building 2 different houses (Angie and Dan...this is where your money went!) and it was exhausting! That is where the difficulty to blog began....We built a house for a woman who was pregnant on Tuesday and a mother of 3 on Wednesday. It was great and if you know me you know that building is one of my favorite things while I am in Honduras.
On Thursday we had Jonathan's birthday party at a local hamburger place with a soccer field. We had a good time and then went to have ice cream with all the friends and family of Jonathan. We also went out at night to spend some time with the boys at the Casa de Epseranza, and orphanage. They were great and we had a BLAST. It was an opportunity for the workers there to get a night out to dinner and a movie...some well needed time off!
I saw Marta (many of you have heard of her!) and her family which was GREAT. They are doing well.
Friday we ran last minute errands and then headed to see the kids one more time in their homes! We just spent some time hanging out.
"Our boys" really enjoyed having JC there to talk to talk to...not like with me or the rest of us but they could really talk to him...they could ask questions about our lives and learn more about all of us than they had previously been able to learn...I think that meant a lot to them!
Yesterday we made our way, sadly, to the airport to head back to Miami. We arrived to have all 7 of the boys waiting for us at the airport. They were there to spend just some last moments with us before we left. It was great to have them there...always good for one last SMOOCH and hug from everyone. It is always a bitter sweet leaving...more bitter than sweet though. It is always nice (well for JC and I atleast) to return home and get back in the groove, but leaving Honduras each year is always one of the HARDEST things I do all year.... We were sent off with three letters in hand from Melvin, Yonni, and Oneda (all brothers and sister) to read while we waited to take off from Honduras...
We read, we cried, we read, we cried and so the story goes and still continues...even today.
To me, returning from Honduras is always something that is difficult for me. Processing everything and really sorting your feeling is so hard and so often involves lots of self relection and tears. The feeling I have right now is a feeling that I want to go away but I don't. If that doesn't make sense I will try to explain....
Leaving Honduras stirs emotions and feelings that are unpleasant....meaning....going to the grocery store after returning home is hard....why am I so blessed? Why is life so hard for some of the most important people in our lives? Do we really help them while we are there?
A conversation we had during our last dinner really made that last question the one that I just can't stop asking myself. One of my little boys (one that is sooooo dear to my heart) had a ring of popped blood vessels around his neck...it looked as if he had been choked or somehting of that nature...well, JC explains that sometimes when they have nice things that people rough them up for it. Did my bringing him clothes and a soccer ball cause this "roughing up" and if it did, how can I possibly be helping him???? I just don't know...this is something that I am really sorting through this year. JC says that even the two weeks we are with them is something that they need and is helping them....I just don't know.
Well, JC and I have already received a phone call from an internet cafe...it made my day! They were missing us already! :)
What I do know is that these 7 kids (Our boys plus 2) are some of my favorite people...and they teach me so much in so little time everytime I am around them. I can only pray that I have impacted them in a fraction of the way they have impacted me!
Here are a few pictures from our last few days.

Putting a wall up on the first house we built

JC helping with the finishing touches on the first house we built

Me, Erin, my mom, and Gina (new IRC worker) with our pink toolbelts...after a hard day of building...

Me and JC

Me with two of my favorite boys (Melvin and Jonathan!)

This is me and Erin with all of the girls that are split between the house we built the second day and the house next door...it was built last year. They are all cousins.

This is the finished house that we built on the second day! I roofed this house!!!!!!!

Me and my boy Jonathan! :) Love this kid!

JC, Ryan and David

Me and Yonni and Melvin! Miss them already!

Antonio, Francisco, and Mario with Tio Marcos at Casa de Esperanza

Ryan and Mario at the Casa de Esperanza

JC and Marvin at the Casa de Esperanza

Lori and Francisco at Casa de Esperanza...aren't these boys cute??? There are 5 brothers living at the orphanage!

Me and my buddy Yonni

Lori, Jonathan, and Melvin at the ariport waiting for us to check in

Me and David...a new friend of ours!

Here we are with all of our boys! We will surely miss them!

We will miss them so much more than they know....

JC and Ryan

Emotional....

2006-08-07T20:26:00.000-04:00

Wow. Today was a good yet very emotional day. We went to the hospital. Anyone who has ever been knows exactly what I am talking about. In all of my 7 years coming to Honduras....I have never had an experience like I had today. I don't want to freak everyone out, BUT I witnessed a child in the cancer unit stop breathing. I also witnessed the doctors and nurses performing CPR on this little body. It was the most horrible thing I have ever witnessed. Cancer is something that is so hard for me to understand...it is so horrible to begin with but these children are so young and life is already so hard...it was a horrid experience. Erin had a rough spot too. It always seems to happen when we leave that unit.

(Carly, remember the first time we went after Grandma passed? It was worse than that! Imagine.)

Well, after the cancer unit we proceeded to all of the other units...it was great...we passed out toys, candy, blew bubbles....the kids LOVED it and there were a couple kids who I know haven't smiled in awhile that smiled today! :) That makes it all worth it! It was great because Erin, JC, my mom and dad and I had a great time visiting with the kids. We went to units that I have not seen before either....we had Gina, a new employee of IRC, with us and she was very familiar with the hospital. She was great and we had 2 out of 6 fluent Spanish speakers with us. It was fantastic.

Erin is blowing bubbles with some of the kids! Did I mention the bubbles were a huge hit???!?

My dad talking with one of the boys!

My mom with one of the boys she just loved! He was very sweet. They played ball together for awhile in the hallway of the unit.

JC passing out toys to the kids. He was brave...he would hold the bag full of toys out and say "choose one"!

This was one of the girls in the cancer unit. She was in a lot of pain.

This little boy was in the orthopedic unit. He was very sad because his dad wasnt there. He could wait for the candy and bubbles to get there. :) He smiled from then on! It was great!

Erin reading a Spanish book to one of the kids. They really enjoyed that.

This little girl with me was CRAZY! All the mothers said so....she was running around so much that her iv kept falling out!

Doing what we do best, Erin is just hanging with the kids!

This little boy was much older than he looked. He was shy but so sweet!

After we left the hospital we went for lunch, and when we arrived to the area the teachers were demonstarting.....again. The streets were flooded with teachers from all over the country and when they arrived to a certain point in the street, they were greeted by an army of police and military! Check out the pictures....

Here you can see the people meeting up with the military and police...

Here you can see the flood of military and police officials...it was really cool!

And then the "gringas" decided to go in the middle of it and look crazy on the shoulders of other "gringos" and take pictures....people must have thought we were NUTS!

All in all we had a GREAT day. We are going to top it off with some ice cream! What better way to cure an emotional day! :)

JC, Ryan, Erin, Mark and Lori! :)

Un Buen Dia

2006-08-06T20:05:00.000-04:00

Today was a GREAT day. It started off with 6 of "our kids" coming over for pancakes. We all ate breakfast together and then some of the boys painted my mom's and Erin's nails...it was great...bright blue! :)

After we hung here at the house for awhile...we went to a park about an hour away. We went swimming in a public pool (yes...I know!). It is always so awesome to see the kids having a great time. They had so much fun playing in the water. I went in for awhile and my dad and JC just played with them the entire time. I love the smiles on their faces.

Melvin!!!!!

Chicken fighting....it went for awhile before someone won!

After swimming we went to eat lunch there at the restaurant. We had "hamburgers" and french fries. The hanburgers were very questionable. :) We all seem fine so far...we shall see! :)

Ryan, JC and Yanni (Melvin's brother...one of "our boys")

Ryan and Melvin

Todo los Hondurenos! (the boys wanted my dad in the picture....and of course my Honduran!)

Ryan, Erin, Cesar, and Jonathan (my little novio)

After lunch we went to a little zoo and to the soccer field. The boys had a GREAT game of soccer. Us girls (me, mom, Erin, and Oneida...Melvin's sister) sat and cheered them on!

Ryan, JC, Erin, Jonathan, Oneida, and Melvin....next to the CRAZY MONKEY cage. HE was seriosuly very scary.....

Jugando

After the game we got ice cream and the kids went swimming again! They had a BLAST. I love it when the kids are soooooo happy. It really makes me happy. I just love these boys and Oneida.

It is always great to be here with my parents....

Good bye San Pedro Sula....Hello Tegucigalpa

2006-08-05T21:50:00.000-04:00

We spent the last couple of days in San Pedro just hanging out and shopping.

I just wanted to post some of the pictures we took while we were hanging out.

We are in Tegucigalpa now and looking forward to working...we had a blast vacationing in San Pedro but we are definately ready to work. It looks like we will be going to the hospital, Jimmy Hughes, and building two houses....it is going to be a CRAZY week...

Just a few....we will keep you updated this week with the work we are doing. I think that tomorrow we are going to hangout with "the boys" and then Monday...the hard work begins.

Angie and Dan...thanks for the donation...I will take lots of pictures of whatever we do with it to show you!

Daisy and Juli...thanks for the clothes...they will be of good use.

See you all soon...KEEP READING!!!! I am going to try and update each night...

JC and Ryan

Copan

2006-08-02T20:58:00.000-04:00

Hey there...JC and I spent the last 2 days in Copan. We were there visitng the ancient Mayan ruins. For those who may not know...JC's ancestry dates back to the Mayan Indians. This was like a look into his history....in a removed kind of way. It was neat...we took a bus over to Copan and we stayed in this great hotel there...Don Udos....and we just tried to relax.

We visited the ruins yesterday all morning and then in the afternoon we went on horseback up to som Guatemalan Indian homes. They came on contract with the government, and then they got "screwed over". Welcome to Honduras. Here are some pictures from Copan. There are alot but trust me you are getting just a few of all I took. They are from various places in the ruins or in the museum.

The Macaw is the national bird of Honduras. They were all over the gates when we were going into the ruins...and they are LOUD.

These are pieces of what is left of an alligator.

Here is a piece from a staircase...if you look closely you can see the swachtika (sp???). This was the symbol of a Mayan ruler....so I guess Hitler wasn't that creative.

This was an overview shot of some of the ruins....said to be Mayan mansions. Apparently in Mayan time the people were divided much the same as they are now in Honduras.

This is us standing by a jaguar carving....these were everywhere.

This was in one of the tunnels under the ruins. The archeologists have found things underneath many of the building that they have found. They say that it would take 300 or more years to find it all and put it back together.

This is under in the tunnel as well.

In the tunnel.

My favorite pose...in the tunnel.

This was on the other side of the ruins from the other pictures. This area is said to be more of the ampitheater area....there was a section where they played their version of soccer....There was the killing area (kind of like in Gladiator)with spectator stands and everything....and area where the rituals were....etc....

The same area....

A wall...if you look closely you can see the Mayan inscriptions. They didn't have writing back then so this was their way of telling their story.

This was a staircase of heirglyphics...they are missing many many many of the pieces....and it is covered with a tent so that they can't be damaged by the sun and weather. They are going to replace the tent with fiberglass so that it is easier seen...as it is now you have to go under the tent to see.

This is an original piece that they found...it is in the museum now....

Another relic that they have dug up that is now in the museum. Many of the things they have found are in the museum.

JC in front of a wall with heiroglyphics...The pieces that they have found are placed in a mix of other bricks to hold it in.

This is a replica of a relic.

A relic as well in the museum.

This is a piece in the land that they uncovered and that they have on display here.

A staircase they have uncovered.

JC and another relic.

This is something that JC found.....he thinks that it was either a bench or a bed. So many of the pieces it is so hard to tell b/c they have only found a few pieces and things are so scattered.

This is where they would sacrifice people. Some religious, but also when you would win the games (soccer or whatever) you would be killed. It was an honor.

JC says that so much has changed since he last went. We had a bilingual guide and everything.

It was wonderful.

Honduras

2006-07-30T21:24:00.000-04:00

Well, we arrived to San Pedro Sula yesterday around 4 (because of flight delays) and we were welcomed by JC's aunt and uncle, his cousins Ramon and Scarleth, and Ramon's wife Sandra. We immediately went back to his aunt and uncle's house to eat. It was DELICIOUS!

Last night we went to a bar/club and it was a good time. We were very tired because we were up late the night before packing so we didn't stay out too late.

We slept in this morning and had a large breakfast which was delicious. We went to Fortress of Fernando de Omoa who was a very important Spanish guy way back in the day. We toured the place and then we left and headed to Omoa Beach. We had lunch/dinner at this great restaurant. We had fish, conch, shrimp, veggies, tostones, and muscles. It was so good. We drove back to San Pedro (about 1 hour) and we took a nap. I am updating you guys now becuase we are going to Copan tomorrow until Wednesday. I am really excited about that.

Here are some pictures from our trip so far. I will update more after we return from Copan.

Patience....

2006-07-18T07:42:00.000-04:00

Ha...this is not something that I possess in an abundant supply, however, God taught me a lesson in patience.
JC and I wanted to join my parents, Eric, Jenny and Will in Birmingham for Labor Day weekend because it might be the only time we are all together for awhile. Well, the tickets on SW were on a REALLY great special....except only for one leg of our trip. My mom kept telling me to be patient because I "never know what could happen." I just said "whatever" and pouted for a couple of days. Well yesterday I happened to just glance on Southwest...and it was a good thing that I did b/c apparently there had been a cancelation on one of the flights returning the day I wanted to return and I was able to recieve the special internet fare on both legs of our trip and WE ARE ABLE TO GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WOO HOO!

Who ever said that good things don't come to those who wait?!??! God was teaching me patience and then because I was patient I believe he rewarded me for it.

God has been so good to us.....

2006-07-05T09:26:00.000-04:00

JC and I have been so lucky to both come from strong Christian families that have provided us with wonderful examples of love and hard work. Neither of us came from families that were handed everything on a silver platter, we both have had hard work and diligence displayed for us constantly. We have also been blessed with good friends, a good Church family, and God has blessed us with jobs that provide for us!!! I could go on and on with the blessings that JC and I have had....I thank God daily for everything that he has done for us and given us.

JC and I had a GREAT 4th. We spent the day with his family at a BBQ during the day, and then a bunch of friends and family went to Miami Springs golf course to see the fireworks. It was really nice. It was good to spend some quality time with his family. Please keep JC's dad if your prayers or his health.

I just returned home from a trip to Tulsa where I visited my brother, Jenny and Will! Oh I thought good byes were heard when it was just Eric and Jenny....it couldn't compare to the good bye I faced this past Wed. in Tulsa at the airport. Oh my goodness. It was awful. The people in security didn't know what to think. It was so hard to say good bye especially since I don't know when I will see that little boy again. It is hard b/c when they are babies they forget everything when it is not visible. I hope that doesn't happen here...I hope that he always knows me and remembers me even though I am far away.

Eric, Jenny and Will are going to Birmingham to visit my folks when they come back from Honduras in September for Labor Day weekend.....oh JC and I are trying to figure a way to go. It will be hard being here while they are all there, even if it is only for 2 days!

Real World, Here I come!!!!!!!!!!

2006-06-26T22:21:00.000-04:00

I GOT A JOB! I can't even believe it...I am going to be a real grown up now. Is that possible? Do I even know how to have a job? Make money? Daily Routine?!?!?! :) Well, I guess we will find out in due time. Please keep me in your prayers as I start this new venture and this new chapter in my life!

My dear friend Kristin was here last week for the entire week and can you believe that in June, in Miami, it didn't rain until her last night here!!??!?! That rain came after a week of heat and sunshine!

The MIAMI HEAT are NBA CHAMPIONS! We had a BLAST watching the Heat win their beautiful victory! We watched Game 5 at a local sports bar and that game was INTENSE and carzy! Overtime...bad time-out call on Dallas....Wade fouled with 1.9 seconds....and well, we see where that landed us!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :) Game 5 we watched at the Miami Heat Road Rally Party at the triple A! It was awesome....tens of thousands of fans all watching the game together....and WE WON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :) :) :) :) It was awesome. We were able to buy championship gear that night at the arena!

Here are some pictures from the week with Kristin!

He has a name.....

2006-06-12T08:39:00.000-04:00

Alberto....I believe that is what he is being called anyways. Tropical Storm Alberto...unbelievable. Even though it "most likely" won't reach hurricane strength, and it isn't coming to South Florida we have received a great deal of rain already....which I wont' complain...we need it. On any given day you can drive around Miami/Ft. Lauderdale and notice that there are blue tarps still over so many homes....and it is these places that I feel the most for. The demand this year has been so great for new roofs, repaired roofs, etc...that it was impossible to get everyone fixed before the beginning of this season.

Hurricane season brings weird feelings. It brings feelings that you don't really know when or how hard a hurricane will hit you...In the heart of hurricane season it gets to the point, that once one hurricane passes, another one is coming. We are constantly in alert for a storm and half the time they don't go where they are predicted and some unexpecting area of the country gets hit....so if there is one lesson that all of Florida and the Gulf Coast should have learned, especially in the last 3 years or so......ALWAYS BE PREPARED!!!!!!!!!!!! ALWAYS TAKE THE FORECAST SERIOUSLY......ALWAYS. I would so rather be safe than sorry!

So...lots coming up! I have my graduation this weekend?!?!? ! AGH...can you believe that. I will soon be with my masters degree....haven't really found the best job yet, but hey I am working on it. We will do the ceremony and then dinner at PF Changs to celebrate with some friends. YUM! I think the night will end with some Seminole Hard Rock or something.
That is Saturday...and then Sunday is Fathers Day which will be spent with my father-in-law, church, lunch etc....
Then on Sunday my dear friend, Kristin, is coming into town for a week! WOO HOO! I can't even wait. It is going to be GREAT!!! :) We will spend as much time as possible at the beach/pool and maybe even the Keys for a day, but that all depends on the weather. Unfortunately that is our life from June-December.

Have you ever felt like you are just going through the motions??? You never find time for the things you need to have time for, and plenty of time for the things you don't need!?!?! I have been going through all of this lately. It just seems like I can't get myself in the gear. I haven't been doing as much as I should in regards to my spiritual life. :( I am trying to get myself into gear. If I spent as much time doing that as I did concentrating on losing weight then I would be in good shape.

Well, gotta head out for now, but there will be lots of pictures to come!

Ryan

Has it really begun again?

2006-06-09T07:20:00.000-04:00

I was just sitting here watching the news.....and yes I hear the infamous words...."There is an area of low pressure that we are watching...." Are you kidding me? Hurricane season is only a week old!!!!!!!!!! AGH! Apparently, there is an area of low pressure is over the coast of Honduras...yes, Honduras.....ironic isn't it? Anyways, the concern is that it is not far from being over the Gulf, so they are "watching it for the next 24-36 hours"...hahahaha, they always say that. "we will have to just wait and see" (we get that a lot too). I just got this weird feeling of here we go again.

Lots Going On!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2006-05-31T09:18:00.000-04:00

Well, where do I begin? In April, I finished my classes and took my comp exam. If you know me well, you know that I am OCD (especially with school stuff) so the preparation was intense! I studied for about 3 weeks solid for an essay exam covering my entire program. On April 21st I headed to the lab and took the test. They said it would be 2 weeks before we would hear the results but no later than 3 weeks......HA! Joke was on us, that's for sure. It was 3 and 1/2 weeks before we heard.....We heard just about 2 weeks ago now. I got a perfect score from all three professors who graded my exam! I am in fact so OCD, that after the phone call with my results, I didn't believe them so I drove up to my university to review my exam myself. :) I was, and still am, really excited about the results. I worked hard. Now, tonight is my last night of my internships and then graduation is on June 17th. I have a couple of job prospectives out there, and one of them I am meeting with someone this evening about. Please pray about that for me!

So, JC and I have thought for awhile about moving...unfortunately the more time that passes and the more things play out...it is looking more and more like we are staying in Miami. I guess now it is time for me to really start to think about what God's purpose for me here is. I mean, if we have prayed about it and if God wants us to be here, there MUST be a purpose! I just need to be patient and let him lead us to be doing what he wants us to be doing. Isn't that so much easier said that done?!?!?!?!? Keep us in your prayers please...that I find the right job, that we can find a house, etc...

Erica Shoulders was here for a week in her timeshare. JC and I took a LONG weekend and spent it at the beach with her and her daughter Ellie! It was awesome. Good catching up time and good relaxing time!

I MET MY NEPHEW! WOO HOO! FINALLY! He is just as perfect as I have imagined he would be and it was even more difficult than I thought it would be to leave him at the airport. The family was so understanding of my baby hogging over the weekend...I just couldn't get enough of him. It is so difficult being so far away from family. JC and I are far from all of my family...my parents are the closest (10 HOURS! if you consider that close) and Eric and Jenny are about 24 almost hours away! It is hard to believe that I won't see my nephew very much and I can't help but think that he may not know who JC and I are as he gets older. Of course we will always do our best to visit and everything, but won't like get harder as it goes on and families grow...etc.....ah well.

I am really trying to spend some more time in the Word these days. JC has been so much better about it than me unfortunately! I am trying to get back into it. I even started a new devo book called Captivating. Pray for me as I get myself back into the Word like I should be. Help me find my place and meaning here in Miami and that I really start allowing myself to be used the way God wants to use me! :)

HERE ARE SOME PICTURES FROM THE LAST COUPLE MONTHS!

I'm an AUNT!

2006-04-01T19:39:00.000-05:00

I think that anyone who knows me and my brother are still in shock that he is a FATHER! :) I am so proud of him...and still in alittle shock that he is a parent before me. Well, actually maybe not in so much shock, I mean...I think I knew that he would be, but still doesn't make it less CRAZY! :) Isn't my nephew, Will Remington, just beautiful! He was born yesterday in the afternoon and my mom and dad were thankfully there when he was born. I know Jenny wished that it hadn't been that long til he was born, but I am happy that my parents were able to make it there in time!

Well, I am getting ready to graduate. I have one more night of classes (Monday) and then on April 21st I have my comp exam...the big one that covers everything in the last 2 years...and pending a PASS on that exam, I will graduate on June 17th! :) I will have a Masters...I did it. This was my goal and I am so excited about it. So, you can all pray for me over the next three weeks, that I study and remain diligent til the test....and most of all that I concentrate and really do well on the exam! Sometimes I really wonder if it was worth all the debt to continue on...I mean...the debt is out of control, was this an investment? I can't take it back now so I try to not drive myself crazy over it, just crossing my mind, especially now that some of my loans are about to come into repayment! AGH!

JC and I are getting ready to celebrate, next month, our three year anniversary! I can't believe it has been three years....Wow! We will be going to New Hampshire the weekend following our anniversary to visit with my grandfather. Please continue to pray for him...as he is ill.

Well, that seems to be all going on here....I will blog again after school is over! :)

Ryan

When Life Throws You a Lemon.......Make Lemonade????

2006-01-07T23:32:00.000-05:00

The holidays were GREAT! We spent Thanksgiving here in Miami. We enjoyed the time that day with our dear friends Nathan and Becca. We hung out with them during the day...we ate at Cracker Barrel for breakfast....watched Elf and played Cranium Turbo Edition! We went for the dinner to my in-laws house...I brought butternut squash, mashed potatoes, stuffing, jello salad and pmupkin pie and pumpkin bread....all my favs!!!!!

For Christmas, my parents came here! We had a great time....we have Noche Buena with JC's family and had a quaint Christmas with my parents on Christmas Day. JC and I hosted a Christmas dinner party here at our place on Christmas night and it was a huge success! It was a great holiday season.

They raised our rent by a $100 this year.....ridiculous. For anyone that has seen my apartment and the complex, you know that it is not quite worth that. The only reason JC and I stayed here was b/c of the inexpensiveness of it...not because we loved it so much.....so now we are going to move. We are planning on either finding another place to rent for the time being or actually buying something. However, we have to move out in the next three months so it is looking more and more like we won't be buying just yet....that is okay though. I am still in school...and hopefully finishing sometime within the next year (either July or December). I will then have to look for a job and well.....get into the real world...I suppose I have avoided it long enough already! :)

I think the real world is starting to catch up with us...JC is turning 29 this month and is ready to start talking about starting a family....AGH!.....buy a house? etc....it is all approaching us and we are just not sure what we are going to do. The housing market here is really high and we aren't sure that we want to be here and deal with that. JC and I have talked a lot about moving away from Miami....however, that brings some complications with his job....anyone know of anything for him? :) We could definately use the prayers as we really start deciding what we are going to do with our futures....where we want to be.....will we ever be able to afford a house here in Miami? Etc....we would love the prayers....

Well, classes start back up Monday. YUCK! I like my program but I just get tired of driving up there to go....I also begin an internship on Tuesday and I am looking forward to that.

Eric and Jenny are expecting in April!! WOO HOO! I am really getting excited about being an Aunt to little baby Will! I have already had fun shopping for that cute little thing.......that is the fun of it being someone else....:) :) :) :) JC and I are headed to Bham to visit with my mom and dad, but also because they are having a baby shower for Eric and Jenny. I am super excited to see them too....we don't see them as often and especially since they won't be in Honduras this summer, I look forward to every time we get the opportunity to spend time.

I have been thinking a lot about Honduras. I can't seem to get my boys in San Miguel out of my mind!!!!! Dreams...thoughts....etc.....They have just really developed a huge place in my heart. Cesar and Jorge called me today. It was great to hear their voices and to know that everyone is doing ok. They say that Jonathan is walking better and with crutches....Joe says Jonathan's stuff doesn't look so good...his hip and arm....I am hoping that mom and dad can help with that when they go next week. I changed out many pictures in my place this last week.....seems that I really love those boys.... :) Missing them bunches and missing Honduras a lot.

Hurricane Wilma Pictures

2005-10-28T21:17:00.000-04:00

Hurricane Wilma has passed thankfully...almost six days ago now. It was an intense situation to say the least. We had days to prepare as Wilma roared over the Yucatan Peninsula...and we just sat waiting for Wilma to make her call on South Florida. We bought batteries, water, ice, and even book lights to read with, if the power went out. We had food and everything... we heeded the warnings of my dad and we filled both car with gas as we headed in for good on Sunday.
The Monroe, Dade, Broward, and Palm Beach Counties (here on the east coast) were mostly looking forward to a day off of work and a break from the normal routine. We were expecting a small storm; despite how often Max, Bryan and all of the other most trusted and relied upon news people told us not to. We went to bed Sunday night, successfully out of work and all responsibility on Monday. I even got out of a presentation I had on Monday for class....we got what we wanted, right?
Unfotunately it was way more than we bargained or prepared for. JC and I woke up several times during the night to some rain and winds but all in all nothng really big. Well, at about 6 in the morning our power went out. No big deal, we lost power with Katrina and that only lasted about 18 hours....I was sure it would be the same, right? Well, the winds began to pick up and howl with a lot more strength. We already had a broken windo in our bathroom so we decided to watch how things were going through that window. We could see shingles flying everywhere and we could hear the winds. All of the sudden we heard some glass break. We thought it was a car window but when we looked it was windows of some of the other apartments breaking. Before we realized what was going on we could hear windows breaking all around us and the roof was coming off in places. We decided at that point to get dressed, collect money and ID's and be prepared in case we would have had to leave the apartment. The situtation was dangerous for awhile but the winds seemed to really calm down after about 2 hours. We decided to go outside and look. Probably wasn't our brightest moment BUT we were curious. The winds were calmer and our door was on the weaker side of the storm.
Finally, everything seemed to calm down and the radio was saying that the worst had passed. 90% of Dade county was without power and 98% of Broward county and I believe almost all of Monroe as well. All of this from what we now know was only a Cat 1!!!
JC and I walked around that night surveying the damage and that is where these pictures came from. The picture at the top was the sunset that night. It was gorgeous and leaving no sign of what had come earlier in the day.
JC didn't work again the next day so we went and waited in line, with his mom and grandmother, for FEMA. We were able to get some ice and water. After 3 hours.
Gas is hard to come by. Slowly now gas stations are starting to open but only about half in Dade county are functioning. Many suffered some severe damage and the others are awaiting power to be able to work. You will wait about 1-3 hours for gas right now. Luckily I filled up before the storm and I still havn't had to make that line.
School was cancelled all this past week and into Tuesday so far next week. Did we get what we wanted? I don't think we did and I think that South Florida has learned some hard lessons on wishig for hurricane days off of work, and that even a Cat 1 storm is worth preparing for. I think that many have learned that we are not in control.
JC and I got our power back yesterday morning and about 50% have been restored as of today. The rest will be more difficult to fix and full restoration is not expected until November 22nd.
Thanks to FEMA, who I believe has learned great lessons from Katrina.
Thanks to everyone who came from the states all over and even Canada to help!
God really pulled us through this and used it as a time to test me and my patience. I thank hi for giving us the opportunity to be reminded about the important things in life and how everything else just gets in our way most of the time. I thank him for bringing all of our friends and family through this safely.
Ryan

Family....and Friendship

2005-10-13T21:15:00.000-04:00

Here are some pictures of my life over the last few months! Here are pictures from my cousin's wedding....my sister-in-law's wedding....and Honduras.

Enjoy! :)

Ryan

EMO Home Edition

2005-09-25T20:20:00.000-04:00

I think that there is so much in common between our work with TORCH in Honduras and the show Extreme Makeover Home Edition. JC and I watch the premiere for the season tonight and we always notice that they show the family the "demolition" of the house and the families leave...watch their house be destroyed and they have faith that their will be a house there when they get home. They leave for 7 days and the KNOW that there will be a house when they get back.
It reminds me so much of when we are in Honduars and we are going to build someone a house there. They watch you, in the morning, tear their house down to nothing...and they have FAITH that there will be a house there by dark, because if there isn't they will not have a place to sleep that night. Do you see the similarities...??? We do.

That is some kind of faith! I think God calls us to that kid of faith with everything that we do. I think that he always wants us to have this kind of faith!

2005-09-24T00:38:00.000-04:00

So...I started back to classes last week! I was in denial that two month vacation was over but I was certainly glad to get on with the second and last year of my masters program. I will be so happy when I am finished and I can really start working with people and helping them. I am enrolled this year in a Diversity class and I am really looking forward to it. Since I married JC, he has not so subtly been showing me things that I have never noticed about minority/majority relations. It is something that is not really dealt with here in Miami (except maybe the tables are turned) but it is something that has become so evident when we travel to anywhere in the South. I know that some people don't accept that JC and I are married, and many feel that it is just wrong. There are a lot of misconceptions of Hispanic people that I never noticed until I did marry him. Growing up white and in a predominantly white culture give you a bit of "privaledge" that you don't really know about the prejudices and racism that does really exist. I used to tell JC that he was crazy and that the country was past all that and that he imagins things. It wasn't until we went to the mall together and I really saw what he was talking about. We were stared at and whispered about and it was crazy b/c I never noticed those things before.
This has been something that has been heavily on my mind for some time now. In Honduras there is this sense of "us" and "them" that is felt by nearly everyone. While we are there we try and dispell that. We try and show that there is no "us" and "them" because we are all children of God and God sees us all equally. I think that we should have the same attitude here in the U.S.. I know that it is easy to say "I am not prejudice" or things of that nature but I think that it is more than that. We have to really make a strong effort to work towards there being no "us" and "them" here either.
I am not really sure where that came from but I know that my brown husband has really opened my eyes to what I didn't know and didn't realize before.

So, anyways...not so super thoughts from Ryan!

Hurricane Katrina

2005-09-02T23:56:00.000-04:00

Even, the people here in Miami who went through Andrew (the hurricane that, before Katrina, cost the most money) a cat 5, that demolished Homestead Florida can't believe and didn't anticipate what happened in New Orleans and the entire Gulf Coast. I say that because I am dissapointed at the way the country is responding to what they say is a slow response federally. I am not trying to make excuses BUT I don't think that ANYONE expected this to be the situation and I unfortunately believe that it was going to take something like this for our country to see what hurricanes can do and to show us how to be more prepared. I also caught myself thinking that the relief is was slow to come, but honestly, I know I wouldn't be able to do it better and I know that a relief effort this large would be difficult to accomplish in just a couple days, especially considering it wasn't until Tuesday late day that we really had an idea of how badly the area was devastated. Like I said I am not making excuses but I think that as a people we really need to cut the powers that be some slack, because I believe that noone, noone expected something of this magnitude to happen here on our soil! What do I know anyways? That is just my two cents!
I have also been thinking a lot about the "looting" and how the media is portraying it. I think that unfortunately our media likes to "stir the pot" and start things that maybe are not actually occuring. I think that "looting" can either be okay or not. I don't have a problem with people raiding stores for food, for diapers, for baby milk, for water, and things that you would need to just to survive....especially if you have children. I do have a problem when clothing and shoes are being taken...for what? Where are you going to put that? What is the purpose? There is not one in my opinion. You don't need those things to survive. I have seen children in Honduras wearing the same clothes for days and they are just fine. As Americans we can't grasp that idea that we have to wear the same thing for the next few weeks....you won't die from wearing the same clothes. I am sad that it has been made a racial issue. I just don't believe that to be the case. I thinking that if you are getting food, you are getting food, no matter your race of color and I believe that if you are stealing clothes and useless things then you are "looting", again no matter your race or color. Well, I will stop about that b/c I just get upset.
Continuing on the hurricane....I am just still amazed every time I turn on the tv and I see the destruction at how terrible it is and being that I have not been there, I don't think I have any idea. The people there are truly in need of prayers and God's hand to be on them. They are in my prayers always.

Well, I heard back from Joe (in Honduras) and he was able to go and visit Jonathan. He is keeping his spirits up but he just wants some fried chicken. You can believe that if I was able, I would be there right now making him some myself. :) Joe said that he broke both arms and fractured one of his legs. I am hoping that he will be able to leave the hospital soon, because the hospital he is in is the one that we visit when we go there. Let's just say that the conditions are way less than desirable. It is a place that you wouldn't go if it was the last place on earth. Please keep praying for him....pray that God place his healing hand on him and help him leave that place as soon as possible.

Life

2005-08-31T12:13:00.000-04:00

What does it say about me that my most exciting times of the day are when I receive phone calls from my friends in Honduras? What about the fact that I am waiting by the mail for some letters that were sent to me via snail mail by my mom from Honduras? Ha.
I definately know that I care for those kids and today Yanni and Melvin (yes, THE Melvin) called me this morning to tell me that Jonathan, my little "boyfriend" in Honduras was hurt and had to go to the hospital. My heart just broke. I didn't know what to do and I just felt completely helpless. That is a real crappy feeling. The feeling of knowing that you have the resources to help and yet there is nothing that you can do!! So, I called my dad. He gave me the number of one of the full-time missionaries there in Honduras. I was able to reach him and he is going to go and check on Jonathan! WOO HOO! I hope that all is okay. My dad says that I have to let them live their lives, BUT why can't I try to help them? Why can't I do everything I can to let him know that I am thinking of him and that I will do what I can to help him. If anything, he knows that I did my best to get someone over to be with him and help him.
Please keep him in your prayers. Pray that he is okay and that lack of finances and lack of proper medical supplies and equipment won't make the condition worse and complicate things.

Well, can you believe the destruction in LA and MS? Unbelievable. Almost incomprehensible really. It brought tears to my eyes yesterday as I was watching CNN and the footage they were showing. I think that urgent prayers are needed on behalf of the people that have been effected directly and indirectly by Hurricane Katrina. I also want to pray that God give them peace when they are uneasy and can't find out information that they so desperately want. Why do things like this happen? I mean....JC says that this is what we get for living places that we just aren't supposed to live. He thinks the same about Homestead, FL (the place that was destroyed by Hurricane Andrew years back. He says taht we are not supposed to live in these places and that is why these things happen. I don't know what I feel about that but it certainly makes me wonder why these types of things happen.

Well, nothing else exciting is going on here. I am beginning my new book today. I am doing the study with my cousin Carly and my friend Becca and am looking forward to what it brings and shows us.

This summer has been a whirlwind. I can't believe that my 2 month vacation from grad school is over and that I am getting ready to start my second year. It is crazy! Next week I am going to New Hampshire for my cousin, Crystal's, wedding. It is going to be awesome. I am really looking forward to spending some more time with all of my cousin's up there.

This Monday we will get to see some good friends of ours, Mike and Jessica. It is great because we have not seen them in months and they are having a baby!!!!! WOO HOO! We will get to spend some time with them for lunch and that will be nice.

Well, other than all of that there is not too much going on. I don't want to wish away my vacation but I am certainly ready to have some more on my plate.

Anyways, that is all from here.

Please pray that there is no tropical weather to hinder our trip to New Hampshire.

Ryan

So much going on....

2005-08-24T21:40:00.000-04:00

JC had a meeting this past week in Orlando for UPS so we went and spent some time from Monday until Wednesday. We stayed at a nice hotel and were able to go to MGM Studios on Tuesday. It was very nice and we had a great time, but I couldn't help but think about my friends in Honduras. It was weird coming home from Honduras and heading to land of Disney. I felt bad. I wasn't upset that we were able to have such a great time together but it was just a really weird feeling.
I definately enjoyed the time that JC and I were able to spend together. It was a great time. I had not been to MGM since it first opened years ago and it brought back so many memories. JC had never been so that is why we chose that. We were talking so much about how blessed we are to be able to go away in the middle of the week and to enjoy eachothers company. It was really nice and we really enjoyed ourselves.
As we were driving home, my friend Becca called because she wasen't sure if we had heard about the tropical storm coming towards south florida. WE HADEN'T!!! Hahaha. We came home and we were able to start preparing for the storm.
The storm was forcasted to come in West and to make landfall in Broward County. Usually when the storms make landfall the worst of the storm is to the NE quadrant....well, unfortunatly the worst of Katrina was to the south! ME! YIKES. The storm ended up making landfall in North Dade/South Broward. Therefore some of the worst weather was in my area. The storm came in and instead of going straight West as predicted, it went SW. The storm came right across my area of the Miami. It was really intense and it was only a Cat 1 storm. We lost power last night (along with practically all of Dade county) around 8 pm. We lit canles all around the house and we watched the storm from our front window. There has been serious flooding across the county and major power outages. It was more intense than we had thought. Just goes to prove that you can not take hurricanes lightly!

Well, good news is my power was restored today around 3 o'clock! WOO HOO!

Today the damage is being evaluated as Hurricane Katrina moves on towards the west coast of Florida or the panhandle. It is intensifying. We need to keep praying because this storm is strong. Keep praying and unfortunately I don't have just great words of wisdom to offer anyone but I just wanted to share what has been going on down here in Miami. Pray for those who have no electricity and those with extreme flooding and for those who are in the future path of Hurricane Katrina!

Unconditional Love

2005-08-21T00:40:00.000-04:00

MELVIN!!!!

Do you know my parents? Mark and Lori? If you don't you are surely missing out on something. My parents are some of the greatest examples of unconditional love that I know. I think that I have always known this but it is always so evident to me when I spend time with them in Honduras.
I am reminded of this because of a conversation I have been continually having with my mom about the day that they have to leave Honduras this year. I think that as my parents spend more and more time there it will become harder and harder for them to leave but I think that the difficulty this year could safely be attributed to San Miguel and especially, Melvin.
If any of you have talked to my mom over the summer you have most certainly heard about this remarkable little boy that has seemed to have completely stolen the heart of my mom. Melvin is a little boy that lives in the community of San Miguel. He and his brothers and sisters have lost both of their parents, and I believe that God sent my mom to look after Melvin and his family.
I think that it is so cool that not only does my mom care for him so much but she has really shown him how wonderful and precious he is to her and to God. You can see it in the way that they interact that there is true unconditional love shown.
Today my mom was telling me how heavy her heart is that she is leaving. She also expressed how she wanted Leo, a bilingual friend, to join her at Melvin's church so that she could have her feelings and intentions made known to Melvin so that he can truly understand. She wants him to know that she is not leaving him forever and that she will still be looking out for him and caring for him just from afar for awhile. I think that Melvin already knows that. I think that her actions have shown him that. Yes, I do believe that he will be sad to see her go but I also believe that he knows she would never desert him and leave him wondering if he would see her again. He knows all of this through, the broken Spanish my mom speaks, but most importantly he knows through his new house, through his food, through his breakfasts spent at my parents house, through his trips to the mall, through his amazing unforgettable birthday party and even more through the way that my mom has completely opened herself to him. I believe that love defies all language barriers.....

My name is Melvin Alexander Bonila Bonega (not sure of the spelling of the last two names)
I love you forever, Lori.

This is something Melvin says to my mom frequently and I do believe that he means that with all of his little heart.

He knows you are always looking after him mom...rejoice that you have made such an amazing connections with such an amazing little boy.

Lori's Kids
Here I am with my husband (next to me), Melvin (on my knee), and my brother and his wife (on the other side of Melvin).

Loving Eyes
Do I even need to say more?

Precious Innocence

2005-08-19T16:21:00.000-04:00

Love this kid hu? Oh now that I see how to add pictures on here it could get crazy!
How bout this? If you want to check out more about my trip to Honduras....check out the God of Wonders blog.... www.torchone.blogspot.com

Life Changing Experience

2005-08-16T18:16:00.000-04:00

Well, my dad has gotten me all curious about the blog stuff. Figured I would give it a go. I suppose it will give a place to talk and atleast vent even if people never read. :) :)

I just got back from Honduras last Saturday. I was there for the normal 2 weeks, but this year was so different. I went to Honduras with a small family group this year. It was nice. We went to stay with my parents at the Mi Esperanza House with my parents, Crystal, Carly and Erin (my cousins) and Eric and Jenny (my brother and sister-in-law), and of course JC (my husband). We did the normal TORCH stuff...hospital, children's homes, etc....but this year the main idea of the trip was to build a house in memory of my grandmother. It was nice....as a family to build a house in her memory. My grandmother was an amazing woman who always spent her extra time serving people so I know that she would have been excited to have us doing the same. She would have wanted nothing more in her memory than a house in her name. The family was nice and very humble.

While I was there I met this little boy named Jonathan. He defiantely captured my heart. He says to me "te quiero mucho mucho mucho" (Love you very very very much basically) and just a good kid. The kids, especially the boys, in Honduras...usually end up in gangs throughout their lives, or always in poverty. I guess I kid myself when I think that because, Ryan Hernandez, meets the kid it might change their life forever....hm.. silly hu? I guess we do help them while we are there and we do offer them some sort of hope, but I really struggle with going home and be stuck with nothing I can do for them. I mean, this year the coming home has been so much more difficult. I can't pinpoint why but it must have to do with the intimacy we were able to have with this trip. We were really able to get good and personal with the kids. It feels good.

I expressed with my family while we were in Honduras the concept of "us" and "them" and how it was really working itself out in my mind. I know that it is easy to say that we are all the same but for me it has really evolved into something more than that. Since I married JC, a Honduran male, I have been realizing that we are helping what was or could be his family. They are not "them" they are me now. JC and his family are me...we are not different. I can't quite explain it the way I did while I was there but it is really something that I am trying to work out in my head.

I have a feeling that this blog is going to be something that is very random and kind of "stream of consciousness" (is that what it is called?). Seems to be how I write when I don't really have a purpose.

I am really excited because I am going to be starting a new book soon. My cousin Carly and I are going to be reading Captivating and doing the study guide. I ran into a girl in the MIA airport and she was holding the book, when I asked how it was she said amazing. I can't wait to start. I think that it will be good for me to use my time more wisely, reading good books, listening to the Bible on cd, etc....Carly is a new Christian....as a matter of fact I baptized her! How wild is that....years ago I never imagined that day. I think it was something amazing that I shared with her. Anyways....I guess for now I am going to go. I have been sick since returning home and still need to unpack.

Alright...off for now. If anyone wants to comment with things that can be talked about on here let me know.....anything is welcome.